Page 2 | Strange question!

messylove · 2024-04-29T21:10:17+00:00

Why do I feel uncomfortable about my fiancé looking at my body? Is this normal?

Watchkeys · 30/04/2024 09:22

Him not being able to keep his eyes off your body is a sign of how attractive he finds you. Its a good thing

What denotes it being objectively 'a good thing'?! If OP doesn't like it, she's told him, and he still does it, that's not good. It's not respectful.

Matildahoney · 30/04/2024 09:31

messylove · 30/04/2024 08:53

@LifeExperience I do love him and I've had therapy in the past and it didn't do anything. Maybe we are getting a bit old for this as we are in our 40s?

It's definitely a you thing and nothing to do with age!
DP and I are in our 40s, we have a 4 month old, I had a c section and I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been, we still want to rip each others clothes off on the regular!

Watchkeys · 30/04/2024 11:49

Matildahoney · 30/04/2024 09:31

It's definitely a you thing and nothing to do with age!
DP and I are in our 40s, we have a 4 month old, I had a c section and I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been, we still want to rip each others clothes off on the regular!

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Yes, but this isn't about you, and your experience isn't the benchmark we should all be aspiring to.

Original poster

messylove · 30/04/2024 17:06

Dadjoke007 · 30/04/2024 09:17

My ex was fine with her body but did moan about her hips and legs (and quite a few bits really) and would never wear shorts or short skirts/dresses.

In the past I was quite shallow so that would have put me off but I did love her a lot that to me, she was perfect. I told her, "I love everything about you, I love your thighs even though you don't as they are you, it's who you are, and I love everything about you." For me she was stunning, wobbly bits and all, and would take her 100 times over compared to someone seen as more "perfect". That's when I realised it was true, unconditional love!

He looks because he fancies you, lumps and bumps and all that.

I've told him I feel uncomfortable with it and he still does it!

OP posts:

Watchkeys · 30/04/2024 19:21

I've told him I feel uncomfortable with it and he still does it

Well then it's more important to him that he says it than it is for you to feel comfortable. He's got a clear choice: say it, and know that you'll feel uncomfortable, or not say it and know that he hasn't caused you any discomfort.

Have you made it absolutely plain, when you're both calm? Have you said 'I'd like you to stop commenting on my body, please. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and now that I've told you, if you do it again, I'll see it as disrespect.'

If not, can you? How do you think he'd respond to that?

CatAndHisKit · 01/05/2024 22:03

Good advice above regarding a direct, calm conversation - just to tell him that if he doesn't understand it, then he needs to respect your feeling/understanding.