Emotional affair or friendship?

[Bearnecessitiesthesimple]

My DH has a very close female friend, they work together, have for years. She is quite a lot older than him and he says he’s not attracted to her (I believe him). However they do have long phone calls, meet up for walks/coffee, she sends him texts with multiple kisses on, etc. I have often felt he confides in her much more than in me. Is this an emotional affair, or simply a friendship? And what is the difference in general?

Do you ever have her over for dinner?

I think if my partner had a close, longterm female friend, I'd want her to be part of my life too. Not every time they hang out of course. But I dunno, half the times maybe? At least 1 in 4.

If it was the other way around, I'd do the same for my husband. Just because sometimes, even though the trust is there, its respectful to reassure your partner.

I don't think it's an emotional affair. But as his wife, you really should be the woman he is most himself with. And ge should take actions to make sure you feel...safe, with him. And know you are number one.

Who does he prioritise?

If something happened - big news, or bad news, something funny or exciting... how quick would he call her to tell her? Would you be first to hear, or second?

What would his reaction be to you asking if the friend wants to come over for dinner one weekend?

If she's single... how would he react to you suggesting she'd be a great match for one of your (male) joint mates?

You must know by now if they've worked together for years? I don't understand.

Sounds like she's a friend.

It does sound as though she is a friend but I would feel a bit hurt if he confides in her more than you. As his wife you should be his closest confidente.
If your DH has told you he doesn't find her attractive does this mean you have had a conversation about your uneasiness about their closeness?

If, as you say you believe, he isn’t attracted to her then it’s a friendship. On his part at least.