I am probbaly over reacting but if i don't get this out it will bother me all day

[3NAB]

This is the conversation I had with my MIL this morning after checking that she was happy to have DS2 for me. I commented on how DD wasn't best pleased that he got to go and she then interrupted me -

MIL - She will have to come on a weekend now she is at school but only if she behaves herself as when she is in one of her moods we don't want her anymore than you do.

ME - She is just stubborn with a strong personality and DS1 is just as bad. I am doing my best!

MIL - I know he is. I know you are. She will have to learn that being stubborn will get her nowhere.

Now, in itself it isn't that bad I suppose but when I feel she favours the boys and goes on all the time as she doesn't know about girls and how glad she is she had boys it really pisses me off. When she was born, we got a card of DH's uncle saying how MIL must have been gutted to have a Grand daughter. I have spent the whole of my life knowing my mother wanted a boy and I will not have my DD penalised for being the wrong sex. MIL knows this and says she doesn't have favourites.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think I'd want my daughter within a mile of someone with that attitude tbh. Unfortunately you can't force someone to change their ways, and unless you can be 100% positive that she wouldn't come out with some similar comment in front of your daughter if she were looking after her it's probably better if you're around.

I have had the opposite problem with MIL pretty much ignoring the boys once DD came along (and she had two sons). DS1 wasn't bothered (he was nearly 10 by that stage) but I know DS2 was really hurt that she didn't pay him any attention any more and couldn't really understand why. We're in Oz now so no longer have to deal with any of her crap

for your dd. How frustrating for you. I wouldn't want my dd (if I had one only have dss) near her either.

Oh god, MILs!!!!!!!!

Do you have to let her look after either of your children? I couldn't be in the same room.......

God I hate women who don't like women/girls. It shows a real lack of intelligence something in a personality.

I hate people that can't see something in everyone. She sounds a horror-in-law.

My MIL was like this - only had time for my eldest dd, didn't give a sod about my other kids. Then, when her own daughter gave birth, she dropped my kids altogether. I would stop your son going too, but that's hard on you if you look forward to the break. Can't your dh talk to her.
And of course she knows about girls - she was one FFS.

My MIL is similar. She had boys (DH and BIL) and I have 2 boys.

She has often made comments along the lines of 'you are lucky you don't have girls' 'girls are so much harder work'. How would she know having only had boys anyway?

I think it's one of those things where people like to be an expert on what they know, and anything else feels threatening therefore they have to criticise. Shame she can't get past it and see it's her grandchild she's having a dig at

My MIL is very outspoken open about the fact that she much prefers boys to girls (she has 2 sons) and was kind enough to tell me when I was pregnant with my second that if it was a girl she wouldn't like or love it as much as my ds. (fortunately I managed to produce another boy so issue averted for now).

FFS! That's the sort of thing my mum and sister do.

I find it really hurtful for them to label my children in that way. They're only little (I heard her calling DS2 'spiteful' when he was about 3 ). Just goes to show she doesn't know him at all.

We all behave in less-desirable ways sometimes, why do they have to label them? Makes me .

When they are little, people see their determination (OK, stubborness!) as a problem, but when they grow up their strong personalities will get them far!

oh, and MIL likes to go on about how little girls are 'flirts' at a very young age, and how her grandneice (aged 2 at the time) was 'batting her eyelids' at BIL but totally ignored her

me thinks she has issues..

Thank you all for not thinking I am being stupid.

DD is a difficult child. She is also lovely and clever and beautiful. She just has a strong personality. This is the same woman I posted about who blamed my uncle for the fact my son has a temper and my mother for the fact my daughter is stubborn. The fact that DD likes colouring comes from MIL obviously.

I feel so so low today and tbh could do without all this.

Last time the kids were there FIL spoke very fiercely to my son. Now I know he can be a pitn at times but FIL seems completely unaware of his tone - even though I am always telling him.

MIL said we both have to stand together and make DD realise she can't go on like this.

FFS she is 4, she is stubborn, MIL was a teacher. Deal with it!!

MY DD has had medical problems and had to have a GA almost 3 years ago so tbh I am just bloody grateful she is here. I have to go. Going to cry.

If girls are flirts at a very young age, it just goes to show it's innate, so your MIL would have been a flirt too, Meemar lol. What a hussy

Just phoned to see how DS2 is and he was fine until 2 minutes ago. Apparently he tipped his pan of magnetic letters all over MIL and she is making him pick them up. "I don't see why I should pick them up." He is 2.

She seems a lot more strict and a lot less tolerant at times with my kids. She never thought I should have had 3 "why have another when you can't cope with the ones you have?" And I know she wanted 3 but FIL said no. Good job, she may have got a girl!