What sort of financial help would i get if i left my partner?
Been together 21 years - 4 kids 2 are under 11, other 2 over 18 - one has moved out so 3 at home.
I work from home and self employed - I have an online shop i have had for a number of years. It has always brought in money for food shopping, school meals, CC payments and little extra for anything we need, by no means a huge amount but a good top up.
Partner pays council tax, electric and gas and any of the larger bills as he earns considerably more than me and is employed so regular money.
We have own home with no mortgage.
Dont have any massive debts we each have a few CC each which we both pay.
I have major trust issies with him in a nut shell - pre 2018 he was drinking heavily every day which led to lots of problems as you can imagaine and all the cheating that went with it. Lots of one night stands, actively chasing women on social media with disgusting messages etc.....
Anyway when all this came to.light he did change, he stopped drinking for about 4 years and everything changed for the better. He really made an effort and earned.back trust
Last 2 years drinking has crept in again - no where to the extent it was but there has been about 3 quite big instances where he has came in absolutely wasted.
Like a.mug i excepted apologies.
I dont know if he has cheated since 2018 i cannot be sure but he hasnt stayed out all night apart from one occassion which i know 100% he was there) on the other occassions its been day sessions so waltzed in around 7ish on the eve ...i did take his phone last summer and spent 2 hours looking through it and found nothing incriminating.
He deleted his fb account in 2018 and hasnt had another simce.
The only social acc i know of is tiktok and he follows football, car stuff, cooking etc. He doesn't post anything just watches the vids.
He tells me he still like a drink and will stay behind at work.and have a quick beer before home time.
Says hes not into the searching for women anymore 🙄 its not what its about apparently
May i add he was a heroin addict when he was 16 - 19 and was 2 years clean before i met him -.so he just replaced the drugs with the drink. Inknow hes never touched hard drugs again although he has used cocaine socially on the past but never a problem. Just alcohol
He went away working this week and last night he lied to me
The boys wanted to ring him and he said he would call back in 10 mins. He never did. He ignored my calls, all the whatts apps had been delivered - i only sent 2 messages btw
I see he was online at 12ish last night.
I switched phone on this.mornong and got a message at 3am ish saying he had fallen asleep and ran out of battery.
Bullshit. I know him too well
Called him out and told him he was a liar.
He called before and said he was playing pool last night so yes he lied to me. I dont believe that was all it was, i mean if it had been he would have just called me back and told me what he was doing. I think he came in at 3am probably wasted after a heavy drinking session
Why couldnt he have just said yes i went out and yes i had a drink. Why lie?!!
Its the fact he lies. All the time about why hes late back etc...am not stupid i know hes drinking again.
Says he knows what i will say if he tells the truth.
How long is it gonna be til it spirals out of control again and the chrating starts (of it hasnt already!!)
I told him earlier i want him to move out.
I really need to be strong as been here before so many times.
It makes it easier that hes away at the.moment and.not back til tomorrow night/tuesday.
Reached a point where its not going to get better.......its halpening more frequently now and def a.downward apiral and i want oit before it gets to that point
My anxiety is through the roof even if hes.late from work i am wondering what hes doing who hes with is he drinking.
It makes me feel ill - i had 2 hours sleep last nigjt. Its awful. No way to live. I don't want to be anxiety ridden
Thing is he wont leave. Tried to get him out but he wont go
Just goes to bed and carries on as normal.
All the usual hearts and flowers shit.
Please, any one have any ideas how i can actually get him out?
He earns enough to rent a place.
I dont see why i should have to leave the family home with the kids either......
If he did leave how much would he have to financially contribute?
I would struggle on my own with bills with my earnings at the.moment