How do you get over an emotional affair when you see them all the time?

[W0nderingandWandering]

Last year me and DH went through a trauma. He closed himself off entirely from me. Stupidly, I became very close to someone else in that time as they were very patient and let me speak about the trauma. In time things improved a lot with my husband but I still found myself seeking attention and comfort from the other person. I wish I could start all over again but our lives are entwined. I feel awful for DH now but also angry that I felt I had to seek comfort elsewhere.

Did you mean your life with DH are entwined or the other person ?

Regardless of if it was romantic or not , anyone who shows you attention and compassion is always worth holding onto that friendship in my book , they were your handhold through a trauma and was obviously what you needed at that time.

Of course you felt / feel anger towards your DH , they are supposed to be your handhold and support , I had a awful trauma within my own family and my DH was no where to be seen , actually said at the time and now he couldn't cope with it , i ended up seeing a counsellor weekly to support me through that time. Ive never forgiven him for his lack of support and compassion.

I supported DH with MIL dementia and subsequent death ,and SIL mental health and cancer and subsequent death , sorting funeral/house/probate ect , i wish i hadn't as it made me even more resentful for his lack of support when i needed it most.

Men do shut down with trauma , i think its quite common , we reach out and need to vent/rant/cry whatever , I guess we all deal with things differently and its a blessing you found someone to support you and be there.

Id question of your feelings for this other person is romantic ? if not do low contact if you cant go no contact , for self preservation and for the sake of your relationship

Good luck @W0nderingandWandering

I feel awful for DH now but also angry that I felt I had to seek comfort elsewhere.

You could have sought comfort from a family member or a therapist.

How do you get over an emotional affair when you see them all the time?

Well why do you have to see them all the time? Change jobs, block them. Or tell your DH and he will help you with this.

The question is do actually want to be with your husband