ex and I separated for several years.
early last year she began tutoring another child from my child's school, a sibling of my child's friend. Hired by the mum, who was married to the dad.
She became very close "just friends" with the dad, messaging between 11pm-1am many nights, messaging while their family was on holiday etc. I'm betting you can see where this is going. mum found the messages, divorced the dad, said it's not the first time he's done it and she was sick of it. Ex and new guy/dad have been together since late last year.
They were together perhaps 10 years, and his ex "baby trapped" him, which is a term I find offensive as if it were her fault she got pregnant.
Ex is 25, new man is 44. Red flags galore. He seems to drink considerably. Ex now drinks too. I wont disclose his profession but he works weekends where he's surrounded by drunk women who are actively feeling pressured into settling down. Likely hence the "it's not the first time".
She makes sure I know that he is very attractive and successful, and the other mums all have a crush on him too, they go to book stores and theatre shows together, they go to gigs of my favourite bands. I find it funny that she tries to make me jealous.
There's a large backstory between me and ex, which resulted in me having neither good nor bad feelings about her at all, I just have respect for her as my child's mother and want to see her do well.
My child thinks new guy is great, which I prefer, rather than disliking him and feeling uncomfortable.
They're moving in together over the summer.
The red flags make me uneasy. I'm glad she's currently happy, and she can obviously live her life how she sees fit but if things do go south I don't want my child thinking that cheating is okay, that people are fun because they buy treats.
Both have ADHD and as a result (her words not mine) both of their houses are messy and they're bad at tidying. I've seen her house, I've taken the bin covered in fruit lies out, I've put out the recycling so that there's actual space on the kitchen counter tops.
I don't want my child to live like this and think it's normal because they see both adults they live with living like this and behaving like this.
Am I being mental? Do I have any right even having an opinion? The age gap gives me the ick more than anything really.