My boyfriend's mum doesn’t like me because I was previously in an abusive marriage, she’s told him I’m trouble. [Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

[Babybathseat]

I’m wrong I just want to get it out in the open for reading a msg on his phone. I knew she didn’t like me in that I could sense it. She said that he could do better and I’m absolutely devastated.

We have been together over 4 years. How do you deal with people who don’t like you? Nothing bad has happened between me and him for her to feel that way she just thinks I’m not good enough really for him.

Im not sure what’s going to happen now.

• I saw where

Some people's mums are just weird and not pleasant. My MIL is similar in a sense that she doesn't like me and has made it blatantly obvious to everyone and its getting worse and worse. I have put up with it for over 10 years now and it's become a major issue for me know. So I would suggest dealing with the issue sooner rather than later. What would happen if you spoke directly to her and asked her "what exactly is the reason you don't like me?" But do it in front of your DP so he can also see how she acts/replies.

Can you ask MN to change the title? You might get more responses.

On your post. I'd say anyone who judges somebody for being abused isn't worth the time of day. Abuse happens to all sorts of people. Just because we've been unlucky and found ourselves in abusive relationships doesn't make us bad people or trouble.

He loves and supports you, that's what matters, ignore the mother in law.

How do you deal with people who don’t like you

You keep your distance from them, and anybody who respects their negative view of you. And you get on with your life, and with being who you are, unfettered by their negativity.

His Mum isn't the problem. You're not in a relationship with his Mum. He is the problem, because he doesn't deal with these exchanges with his Mum in a way that's respectful to you.

Nobody in a healthy relationship needs to worry that their partner will in any way be 'turned against them'.

@Watchkeys it’s never really in front of him, it’s always if he leaves the room or his concentration is elsewhere. I’m not sure what his response in the msgs were. I don’t really want to go down the line of looking at his phone again. I have vastly reduced contact. I used to initiate and say let’s pop in if we are passing. I don’t do it anymore.