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Is this a red flag job?

9 replies

Permanentcustardcream · 27/04/2024 16:02

I work in a particular field, and absolutely REFUSE to date within this field as I know what the men are like. There's lots of travel involved and long periods working away. All the men I work with, whether married with kids or with girlfriends, cheat when they are away. It feels a very incestuous world. It's very misogynistic. It's one of the things I hate about it. I keep my head down and don't get involved.

I've recently started dating a guy who works in racecars - like a mechanic in a pit crew role. He travels regularly with this. He seems like a really genuinely, lovely guy, works really hard long hours. He is looking for a serious commitment and wants to settle down with someone.

But part of me has a wall up, thinking that his career has the elements of travel / working away with same groups of people, like my industry. It's making me hesitate.

Does anyone work in the race car world or date within it? Would love some insights.

And before people comment - I know cheating can happen in any industry and dating someone is about trust. I'm more just wanting to get an indication if that cheating culture is rife and prominent in the car racing industry.

OP posts:
Permanentcustardcream · 27/04/2024 17:24

Anyone???

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 27/04/2024 17:28

It's the person not the job.

If everyone you work with cheats then you work with a bunch of idiots.

I'd suggest you give him a chance. Just like anyone new you decide to go on dates with. By getting to know him better you'll be able to find out if he's an idiot or not. Just start of cautiously to begin with.

Orchidlie22 · 27/04/2024 17:28

@AllThePotatoesAreSinging sorry I have no insight into racing industry.

Just curious what industry you're in?

MaseratiIsYellow · 27/04/2024 17:31

Girls generally aren't interested in pit crew OP. However you might have a problem if both you want kids but regularly work away.

chipsandpeas · 27/04/2024 17:39

well are we talking about f1 and travelling the world for pretty much half the year, or a national series where its not as long?

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 27/04/2024 17:59

Orchidlie22 · 27/04/2024 17:28

@AllThePotatoesAreSinging sorry I have no insight into racing industry.

Just curious what industry you're in?

I have no idea why you’ve tagged me in this, sorry!

Pinkbonbon · 27/04/2024 18:24

My caution is that you really have no idea if he's looking to 'settle down'. He might have said that, he might genuinely mean it...currently... but there's no way to know a person means this other than to go the distance with them.

Also, if he 'works really long hours' then he's not really in a position for a relationship. Unless you don't work at all and can be fully flexible.

If there's no free time - there's no free time for you.

Permanentcustardcream · 27/04/2024 18:25

@chipsandpeas it's not F1. I don't want to say what it is as that could be outting I guess?

It is mainly national but sometimes international. Similar to GT!

OP posts:
Permanentcustardcream · 27/04/2024 18:26

@Lindy2 this is my gut feeling, give him a chance. It's early days, see if with time I trust him either way.

OP posts:
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