Husband potential secret drinking!

[nodtik]

I believe my husband bought alcohol at our local Morrisons tonight when he went to get bread.

He tells me he bought two loaves and some pork scratchings!

I have checked the website and this should have cost £4.55.

£9.24 has been debited from our joint account.

I am pretty sure the additional £4.69 was spent on wine, having looked at their prices of the cheapest wine, there are several bottles on their website at this price.

Without a receipt, how do I prove, he bought wine?

Will Morrisons be able to provide me with a copy of the transaction? Another receipt?

He has form for this type of behaviour!

Thank you?

Why can't he have a glass of wine if he wants one? Are we getting a drip feed?

No we are not drip feeding!!

I do not mind him having a drink, what I hate if the fact he buys it in secret, drinks it and swears he hasn't touched any alcohol!

If he’s secretly drinking this is not good. And it will only get worse.

It's going to drive you mad trying to work out where the bottles are hidden.
Do you think he's an alcoholic OP?
If so please join Alanon for support.

@WandsOut it is driving me insane!

I 'know' he has bought alcohol tonight, buy with no receipt it's difficult to prove!

That's why I want to know if Morrisons keep copies of their transactions xx

Sorry, why does he have to justify his spending to you?

There's a backstory here.

@nodtik did he use a loyalty card at all? Wondering if it stores what was purchased on it? Maybe only staff can access those details?

At the end of the day you don’t really need to prove anything. You know that he’s lied to you. You know that nearly £10 is not the cost of bread and pork scratchings.

you don’t need to present him with evidence of his lies. Either tell him, watch him lie and double down on his lying - or take action?

what are you going to do if he does or doesn’t admit that he lied?

Did he drive there - neck a bottle of wine and drive home?

You're falling into a trap of trying to police him, which will turn you into someone you (hopefully) don't want to be.

It's no good for your mental health to be checking his spending, searching for receipts, and so on.

If you know he's been drinking, it doesn't matter if you can't prove it.
You don't trust him. You think he lies to you or is gaslighting you.

You need to step out of the pattern you're in with him.

Whats his history with drinking?
could he have necked a bottle of wine and driven home?

You are clearly worried about his drinking. If he has a drink problem it doesn't matter whether you can prove it on this occasion or not because it isn't going to change his behaviour.
If you think he has a problem you need to look after yourself. Join Al Anon and get some support from others who are in your position or who have been there.

I have been here many years, and 1 marriage ago, and I ask you this. What other thing could you be devoting all this energy and time and thought on that would add value to your life?
Trying to manage and solve someone else's drinking problem is an endless exercise in futility. Where does it end?