Why am I attracted to my boss?

[toweldrying]

I've developed a huge stinking crush on my boss. He is kind, accepting, good looking and supportive. We're both married with dc. Nothing has happened at all but we catch each other making eye contact often.

There is something unspoken between both of us and I can't put my finger on it.

I would never dream of hurting my husband and dc. I am so attracted to my manager though and I can't understand why.

He helped me through a difficult time at work and I guess this was something my dh couldn't do? That's my only guess. I don't understand me feelings at all.

Another guess is that he is powerful and has a powerful job. Something that I would LOVE. I would love a powerful job.

This has danger written all over it. Be very careful about what you could potentially ruin, families and your career.

I would proceed with caution as you have a lot to lose. It is understandable that you are attracted to your boss in the workplace but, that is only one aspect of your life.

It's a crush. He has power, he was helpful, you have a crush. It's not destiny, and it'll go away on its own as long as you genuinely want it to. You aren't the first and you won't be the last.

Don't be unnecessarily alone with him, don't drink in his company, don't do anything stupid. Invest in your marriage, give it time, and if it comes down to it remember that changing jobs is a hell of a lot more fun than divorce.

Nothing has happened at all but we catch each other making eye contact often.There is something unspoken between both of us and I can't put my finger on it.

OP you are both playing a VERY dangerous game. Stop it right now.

From experience...mixing working closely with someone and having them help you through a difficult time is a recipe for...I don't know, something that shouldn't be.

Been there, trying to get out of it, it's fucking awful. Back out of this right now if you can, don't indulge it. I didn't listen and, well, I think my life has fundamentally changed for ever to be honest.

That man could be my husband. He had an affair for four years with one of his junior staff members. God know why I’m still with him - it is hard to deal with, but we’re trying to repair. Though 2 years along and I think it’s too hard to come back from. He found it exciting I guess, having illicit sex in cars and hotels (and I’m guessing in the office when there was no one else there). As much as I was hurt, I know she hurt when he broke it off as he doesn’t want to leave me. She left his office as she didn’t want to be there if we chose that route. It’s a hard crush but if you go any further it will cause a lot of upset. If you value your family and your job - just don’t go there.

Man, I had exactly the same experience. Was such strong feelings. I ignored them and made sure I didn't go out drinking with said person. About a year later I felt 100% opposite and couldn't believe I felt that way at all

My husband is in a very senior role, manages loads of people and I hear his meetings and 1-2-1s when he’s working from home and to be honest can completely accept he must have loads of female work colleagues crushing on him. He is very attractive and fit and can turn on the charm. However, I also giggle to myself as I often think if only they knew the “real” him…He’s an absolute twat at home. (Don’t ask why I’m still with him!)
You are experiencing your bosses work persona….believe me it can be VERY different to the real them. Try to remember that and it might help.

Fwiw - I've been there with a work mentor. He was very helpful when I was going through a tough time in a way only a fairly detached person could be, we were genuinely quite simpatico, result: fairly intense crush. But I never mistook it for something it wasn't. I knew why it was happening and that it didn't, in itself, mean anything. We both had healthy boundaries and it simply passed off by itself. That was years ago, we are both still happily married, the crushfeels are long dead, and we are good friends.

The feelings are fading. Thank god! Back to me and my wonderful family.