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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is the 30th anniversary…

6 replies

WeneedSamVimesonthecase · 26/04/2024 17:06

…of my mum finally getting - and staying - sober. This is, undoubtedly, a good thing, and a massive achievement. I’m hugely proud, and grateful.

But no-one who is celebrating this, telling her how amazing she is, and how well she’s done, has stopped to consider that what they’re are celebrating was also one of the worst days of my life. What finally stopped mum from drinking was my suicide attempt. I was 15, and I’d been on my own with her, trying to take care of her, since I was 5. My life was chaotic and scary and had been for as long as I could remember, and finally I couldn’t take any more. I took a massive dose of antidepressants and lay down to die.

Obviously I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t. I have a lovely life these days, a husband I love and who loves me, two gorgeous kids - and a great relationship with my mum. I’m very lucky.

But I can’t celebrate this day. I can’t. It’s still too painful, and no one ever wants to hear that. They just want to celebrate her stopping, and not think about what came before.

So I’m telling you all. Because no one else wants to hear it.

OP posts:
WhoToBeToday · 26/04/2024 17:11

I am here. I hear you.

That was really, really shit for you and I am so sorry you had that childhood,that it drove you to such a dark place.

She was wrong to have put her DC through that.

I am glad you survived.

Well done <unmumsnetty hugs>

Ohnodontwantthiscrush · 26/04/2024 17:11

OP my heart breaks for you as that little girl. I understand your need to not celebrate her because her drinking stole your childhood and no matter how long she stays sober you will never get it back. I'm so sorry for everything you went through but so glad to hear your life has turned out well.

I know I'm just a stranger on the internet but I'm here giving you a virtual cheer for getting up off that floor and making your own way in the world.

YeahComeOnThen · 26/04/2024 17:12

@WeneedSamVimesonthecase

im very sorry for all the things you went through looking after her & your suicide attempt.

YOU don't have to celebrate with tgem if you don't want to!!

But can't you turn your thoughts around.

Dont' see it as the day you tried to commit suicide, see it as the day YOU survived suicide.

Celebrate that your life (as well as hers) has been a million times better than if she'd carried on drinking.

celebrate your life& give thanks for your family & for not going down that path.

WeneedSamVimesonthecase · 26/04/2024 17:12

Thank you. Just reading “I hear you” made the tears start to flow.

OP posts:
tiredandabitfat · 26/04/2024 21:11

That must have been so awful for you, I'm so, so sorry. Xxx

Springtoit · 26/04/2024 22:49

Thank you for sharing. I hear you x

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