DH mood swings

[Anothe]

Anyone else’s DH go through mood cycles? About every 6 months DH gets more and more grumpy and stressed. He will find fault in the things I do/ don’t do. Then he’ll usually cause a row then he’ll just stomp about sending malevolent vibes at me. It calms down after a bit then he’s resigned, then OK.

Give him a taste of his own medicine as it's the only way he'll understand what a dick he is being and how unreasonable. Unless of course you think he might have a genuine medical condition.

I haven’t got a partner like that because I wouldn’t put up with that shitty behaviour no.

ive just realised he’s been like this for ages. He gets resentful rightly as he is the main wage earner, and I do the house/ part time job. I do my best, but find housework very dull and dispiriting, so I’m not the best at it.

No, it's not right to be resentful that he's the main wage earner. Presumably you have kids and you decided to be at home and the chances are he can earn more than you could alerting dull raise, as is the case for far too many people.

A bit pathetic to say you're not good at cleaning. You need to learn. It has to be done.

It he needs telling he need to sort out what is making him behave like this as it is not acceptable.

Thank you for responding so quickly! Hes grunting and obviously can’t stand the sight of me so I’m hiding! I predict a row later.
in between he’s fine. Weve just had a nice patch.

You know this cycle of behaviour is abusive don’t you?

Theres no “rightfully” about it. I’m the main wage earner in our house. It doesn’t give me the right to be an arsehole.

Sorry, this is not normal. This is a cycle of control designed to keep you in your ‘place’. Exactly what my exH was like for years. It’s only looking back (and now that I am in a healthy relationship) I realise how ridiculous his behaviour was.

My advice to you would be to get your ducks in a row to allow you to leave this cycle. He won’t change, especially as it seems to be working for him.

I can relate to your comment about ‘hiding’ from your ‘d’H because you know he is going to kick off. It seems normal when you’ve lived with it for so long, but trust me you (and your DC) deserve much better.

Please contact Women’s aid if you feel able to, they will help you to see how coercive his behaviour is.

I would think he does not behave like this around his work colleagues every six months or so.

Your most recent post describes the nice/nasty cycle of abuse which is a continuous one.

FFS what is it with this keyboard?!

more than you could working full time*

He needs telling..

A good patch then a load of shit. That is ridiculous. You're being abused and controlled.

He gets resentful rightly as he is the main wage earner, and I do the house/ part time job

What do you mean that his resentfulness is 'right'? According to what? Healthy relationships don't have resentment, because the healthy approach is to talk things through before resentment builds up.

You're not dealing with a moody chap, here, you're dealing with the abuse cycle. Causing rows, malevolent vibes, stomping, hiding because he can't stand the sight of you, finding fault with you.. everything that you've described about his behaviour and how it makes you feel is the perfect description of an emotionally abusive relationship. The fact that you're simply classing it as 'a moody partner' does, too.

Have you kids at home with the two of you?

woh.
thanks. Yes DS is now 16, DD has left for college