What would you genuinely think off someone

[HopeFloatsAbove]

Who had to move back in with their parents in their 50s?

Long story short, I had a good job, rented a flat then took 3x certain vaccine and was vaccine injured which resulted in embolism and pericarditis. This was 3 years ago. I managed to hold the job as I was wfh, but as my health too a turn for the worst I moved into my parents empty flat, they live abroad 10 months of the year. I have now been there for 2 years and where I live its impossible to find affordable place. I wont be working for at least 6 more months while I recover.

I am so utterly lost. I am divorced. My DC have moved out and just feel like life has catapulted into uncertainty. I have lost all respect for myself. And I dread what others in my family think of the situation, I fear they may feel like I am just living off my mum and dad which is totally not the case. How do I move forward and not feel such doom? Thanks

Well, you’ve said that it will be 6 months to recover. That’s not a long time, so that’s something to keep aiming for. You know it’s not forever.

If you’re family are that judgmental of a family member who has been through health scares, then is it any loss? Would you judge someone negatively in your position?

If your parents are away, you’re divorced, kids moved out- you’re obviously spending a great deal of time in your own. This really isn’t good for anxiety and no wonder you feel a sense of doom. You need to be able to socialise and distract yourself from these negative thoughts

What would I think if you relayed this in person - let’s say at a social gathering? That you’d been very unfortunate and it was a good thing you had somewhere safe and stress free to retreat to and recuperate.

I can understand why it might be hard for you to accept this change in your perception of yourself - but I’d imagine most mature adults have enough experience of life to know it’s full of tricks and turns. The graves are full of billionaires - it’s not as if money or status can invariably protect one from illness or worse.

Give yourself a break. Be glad you can concentrate on getting well again. I’m pretty sure your parents and your children are relieved to still have you alive.

I suspect the only person who'd be critical of you is yourself.

Most people would think you fortunate to have had the safety net of your parents place.

Blimey. Is your lack of respect extended to all people with long-term health conditions? Or just yourself?

Seeing as though you're in your 50's, you should know that whatever anyone else thinks is irrelevant. Stop wasting so much emotional energy on worrying about what other people think, because I guarantee they aren't thinking of you at all. They genuinely don't care.

You're doing brilliantly and so fortunate to be able to live where you are. Don't waste another second on this silly worry.

I’d be looking into vaccine injury claims, there’s plenty of them going out and they’re paying out to keep people quiet as they don’t want it common knowledge how high the complication rate really is…. Sorry you’re going through this, it’s horrific and you absolutely should be supported through this.

I think it's perfectly understandable, I wouldn't think anything of this. Anyone who did judge wouldn't be worth worrying about. Also, vaccine injuries are covered up far too much, I'm sorry you are go through this.

I’d feel empathy, and wish you well. I’d make sure you were included in things. I’ve a friend who lived overseas for years, then through a series of unfortunate events, lost her home, and moved back to her parents’ house. It’s a positive that you have a stable roof over your head. Hope you feel better about things soon 💐

I would just think that someone in your situation loved their parents and wanted to take care of them in their old age.

Or that they figured, hey, the place is empty 10 months of the year, I could watch it. And save on bills as they are expensive atm.

I don't see anything embarrassing.

Plus if I knew you hadn't been well...
I mean, it makes sense to want family around for that. To help you through.

Stop being so harsh on yourself op.
Just take this as rest bite. You'll be out again before you know it.

I'm in my 50s and live with my elderly parent. Why care what other people think? You have a roof over your head and a great opportunity to recover without the pressure of rent or a mortgage. You need to flip how you view things. Focus on you, get better, don't look back. Talk to yourself as if you were a friend, what would you say? You can do anything you want, what is that?

I’d think no more than you’d been extraordinarily unlucky but had a loving family there to support you.

And that’s if I thought about it at all.

We’re far more likely to think people are thinking about us or care at all about what we’re doing than they actually do!

Don’t let this thought process impair your recovery.

💐💐💐

I would think that after all the bad luck with the health issues you got, at least you are lucky to have parents support and also it is good that you still can have some independence as they life abroad quite a lot.
No more no less.

Get well soon.

I would take care of myself, focus on recovering and plan ahead. It’s only 6 months remaining.
As for the flat, If they don’t live there 10months in a year I do not see the problem. If you can pay some rent to them It would be great. It would be a win win sitution for both of you.
Also, none whose opinion you should care for would judge you or gossip about you. Those who gossip and criticize are just losers and their opinion doesn’t count.

No one will be thinking anything. Everyone's worried about their own problems. Id probably think it's an arrangement which works for everyone and it cuts costs. Not a big deal. Sorry to hear about your vaccine injury, hope you gain a full recovery.

The only thing I'd think is how lucky they were to have parents who were willing and able to help them through a tough time. I don't have anything like that, so I'd be a tiny bit envious.

I've got a chronic illness and I know how hard it is for your self image. But genuinely in this respect, you've nothing to worry about. I think you're being very harsh on yourself.

I hope things improve for you soon. Take care of yourself 🌺