Too late to start again in 30s?

[30andthriving1]

I’ve recently come out of an emotionally abusive relationship of almost 10 years. I feel no where near ready to meet anybody new, I need time for healing and me time. I have a little boy who is 5 who of course is my main priority!
I realise that being alone and single is obviously better than staying in a relationship that rock bottoms your mental health etc… BUT… I have this horrendous gut feeling like what if I’m alone forever? What if I meet nobody new? Has anybody started again in their 30s? I’ve only just turned 30 but of course by the time I’m ready to meet someone it’ll be a few years. Is it way too late?🫠

You're still so young, really. Of course it's not too late. Give yourself time to heal, enjoy your freedom and your little boy. Build your social network and you will have your time again.

I started dating again at the age of 40 with 2 young kids and couldn't be happier. It's been my best decade so far after wasting almost 18 years with an abusive alcoholic.

You’re definitely not too late. You are starting your life anew and that’s scary but it’s the right thing.
Spend time getting to know yourself again, spoil yourself and do things with your child that make you both happy. When the time is right you’ll put yourself back out there again and meet someone. Your life is only just beginning!

Not 30s but late 20s. You’re right to spend time on your own and do some healing. You won’t be alone for ever, it’s true for a lot of people that when they reach a good place and aren’t looking, the right person shows up.

A friend had been with her husband since she was 18, had no kids though. They split when she was 35, she met someone 10 months later and have been together 6 years now.

When she first split, she was convinced that she would never meet anyone and was scared because the dating world had changed so much, but she ended up meeting someone through work.

Dont write yourself off, you’ll be fine

I started over in my 40s. Left an abusive marriage in a kind of ‘better to leave at 40 after 15 years than at 50 after 25 years.’ I also didn’t want DD growing up with him treating me/us like that.
2 1/2 years on I’m much happier. I managed to sort out my home, got promoted and I’m doing well in my new job. Most importantly DD is much happier. I did meet someone and we are dating but not progressed much in 18 months and don’t anticipate they will. Not convinced we will grow old together (opportunity to blend families won’t come for a long time) but I enjoy his company and we have fun together.
You’ve been through an awful time. I would strongly advise some counselling to
process what happened and how to move forward and build your confidence. In time, you may well meet someone else, but for now, focus on you.

I didn't even start until my 30s, let alone start again. Everything you are feeling is entirely normal and understandable. You have so much time on your hands to enjoy being yourself and bringing up your son.

Started over mid 30s. Have a wonderful husband and baby now!!

Statistically, you've just avoided your first divorce.

Also, way too late for what?
A marriage or family isn't 'the end' of a story like some 'happy ever after' goal.People usually live into old age. You could meet and marry/have kids/step kids with several men in that time.

The journey you are on isn't about other people. It's about you. It's your bus and everyone else will get on and off at different points. They are, at best, good temporary company.

I read something the other day, 'we can never find happiness where we are if we always think its somewhere else'. Made me uncomfortable as I don't like where I am (location wise) atm. I'm always thinking i'll find that place where I am happy and things will fall into place. When really I should give things a chance where I'm at as its not a bad place and happiness isn't a perminant thing ever anyway. Its a temporary feeling we are forever chasing.

What really matters is saftey and peace.

Now you have these things. Or at least the chance for them. You can move forwards and find out what makes you happy. Enjoy the little things, as they say.

Don't spend all your term lamenting what you don't have (yet). Just try to enjoy the good things you do have.

Well, that was a lot of clichés xD

Of course it's not too late. Loads of people break up with partners and go on to have great relationships at all sorts of ages. (Early 40s tend to be prime time for people to start over).

You have like 50 years ahead of you, you still have over a decade in your fertility window if you want more kids, you can have a great future.

Make sure that you don't let this fear (did he tell you no-one else would want you?) push you into not valuing yourself and taking up with the first guy who shows an interest. Be picky and take no shit.

Any relationship should be a bonus and add to your life - if you're rootling around wanting validation and afraid to be alone, you'll be like catnip to predators.

Make sure you really work on your self-esteem and boundaries before dating, because it's really common to end up in further abusive relationships after abuse, sadly.

I did. Been remarried 12 years now.

I got divorced at 33, single mum to DS5 and DD3, met someone new at 36, moved in together age 40, had 2 more children at age 41 and 43, we got married when I was 45 and we’ve never been happier. You’ve got loads of time!! Relax and enjoy your son 😊

I feel like that at 42! No way would i feel like that in my early 30s. You are pretty much at your peak fabulous self

I hope not, I’m starting again at 60! I have a friend who is starting again at 79!
Just enjoy your life, you and your child. Build your strength and self confidence back up and then you will meet the right person for you.