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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I’m stuck in hospital with my abusive Ex!

8 replies

Dramaqwerty · 25/04/2024 17:44

Just looking for a bit of a half hold really, I’m massively struggling.

so DD (6) was admitted to hospital with an antibiotic resistant infection that she had been taking antibiotics for for 3 days but only getting worse. I am a lone parent with limited contact with my children’s dad. He will message every few Weeks to see the kids for a couple of hours, usually be late and find something to have an issue with in the mean time. I have cut contact down to very limit due to emotional abuse that I recieved for years and years. He has very little interest in the children but makes out to his friends and family that he is a doting dad. Just so you can get a bit of backstory.

i try to have as little contact as possible and he never enquires about the kids/ helps out/ refused to pay any money towards the kids until it was taken out of his pay check.

when dd was admitted to hospital she was quite unwell so I thought the best thing to do was to let him know I told him that she’s in hospital but okay, needs iv antibiotics and he can visit to see her’ since I’ve done this he’s came up and refused to leave apart from night time, he’s acting like super dad and making out to all of the staff that he is the most doting dad. Fawning over my daughter all of the time and telling her how much he loves her and will always be there for her etc and making unreasonable requests to me. I’m so sleepy deprived and been worrying senseless about dd but now she’s pretty much back to normal and is just being monitored after 3 full days of this it’s really getting to me emotionally. He is so cold and nasty the way that he speaks to me insinuating that I withhold information from him by not saying she was poorly in the first place only when it’s just us and is now demanding updated every couple of hours in the night (I’m exhausted probably had 8-10 hours sleep in the last 3 days) and saying he wants to take her away for the weekend. We share another child together and he has not asked to help out with getting him to school etc, my parents have done everything.

im not even joking when I say this, 2 days ago he took my last £10 in my bank account that I asked him to get some nappies with. I did not expect to stay and DD was so unwell and feverish she was struggling with weeing. I asked him to pick up a bag of nappies with my last £10 in my bank account and he went to the front desk, got 3 from the lady and then refused to give me the money back.

I want to scream but I’m trying to keep it all together and not make a scene

OP posts:
DolceGustoooohCoffee · 25/04/2024 17:48

Ask the hospital security to remove him

Singleandproud · 25/04/2024 17:48

If DD is ok, and he is fine with her I'd head home, get some sleep or at least a shower and see your other child. Get some headspace unless he's likely to discharge her himself.
It doesn't matter what image he portrays to the nurses hopefully you'll not see them again and hel soon go back to being a twit with no contact and eave you in peace.

Kedece · 25/04/2024 17:50

DolceGustoooohCoffee · 25/04/2024 17:48

Ask the hospital security to remove him

On what grounds? He's got every right to be there.

Dramaqwerty · 25/04/2024 17:52

DolceGustoooohCoffee · 25/04/2024 17:48

Ask the hospital security to remove him

He has the same legal rights as me as we are both in the birth certificate

OP posts:
category12 · 25/04/2024 18:10

What a horrible scumbag he is.

I'm glad she's on the mend. Just hang on until she's discharged. 💐

Dramaqwerty · 25/04/2024 18:10

@Singleandproud I considered going home but nurses and doctors keep coming in with questions etc and he has 0 knowledge of anything, I don’t even think he knows her birthday

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 25/04/2024 18:21

@Dramaqwerty I reckon if you stood up next time he's annoying you and said "great, I'm glad youre here, you can do me a favour I'm going to nip home to see DS/ have a shower/ get some sleep." Hell soon stand up and disappear as he's 'busy' and you can be rid of him for a few hours.

Dramaqwerty · 25/04/2024 18:24

@Singleandproud were hopefully getting discharged tomorrow pending good blood tests but if we’re delayed for any reason I think I will. He’s doing this thing where if he says anything passive aggressively he will stare at me until I look away to make me feel uncomfortable but I’m so fed up and tired I’m just comically stare back until he looks away

OP posts:
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