Calling all therapists - your experience of relationship problems / separating

[Blueprintdress]

I'm a therapist and I think this has affected me in my relationships. Right now I'm going through a break up after years of problems, and I truly think being trained to be compassionate, empathic etc, dijng that day in day out with clients has impacted my ability to do that. I've been way too nice!

Anyine else have that experience?

I have my own therapy and supervision so I do cover this there.

It’s definitely something to take to supervision! And going forward look at your boundaries. I aim to have a completely different focus in and outside a session. I’m very quick to notice if something or someone is in the wrong place- either thinking about client outside the session or talking or thinking as if I’m working when I’m not.

Yes.

I've found boundaries really hard! I've learned a lot.

Oh @Blueprintdress , I could feel what you wrote down in my bones. I know exactly what you mean.
I'm a psychotherapist myself and have been struggling for years to separate my ability to understand and be compassionate from being allowed to feel my own needs, my own emotions.
And I always end up surrounding myself with people who reïnforce this pattern and who get very upset whenever I express my feelings.

I know in my case it does stem from an underlying situation - being raised in a family where my needs never seemed to matter, and I was expected to step up and take care of everyone else, be very mindful of moods, be very alert to make sure things don't escalate, ... I never even really consider how I feel about things, I just try to make sure everyone else is okay.
So it's not surprising that someone like me would end up doing this line of work, being drawn to that familiar dynamic.

Therapy and supervision is good, taking small steps towards the kind of life you want and deserve.
You're not alone!