I’m being silly aren’t I?

[KurtCobainLover]

Please can the lovely mumsnet mind talk some sense into me. I’ve been seeing a lovely man for a few months and due to circumstances we don’t see each other very often (once a fortnight) but speak on the phone most days.

His family and friends know about me and I’m meeting some of his friends next time I see him. So far everything has been kept off social media which normally I’m fine with but I’m starting to freak out a bit.

A few days ago we were chatting and he said he’d been talking to his friends about me and said he was telling them about this girl Holly that he’d met (not my name). I was kind of surprised but didn’t say anything at the time and the conversation carried on as normal and he used my actual name a few times.

Since then I’ve noticed that someone called Holly puts the heart emoji on all his selfies on Facebook and it’s set my mind racing.

I’ve been cheated on quite badly in the past which is why I think I’m reacting this way. I couldn’t sleep last night because my mind was racing and it bought up lots of past memories and feelings.

I guess I’m wondering if I should ask him about her and if so what do I say without sounding like a crazy stalker person?

I’m due to start counselling next week to talk about my past relationship and the abuse that went on.

Sorry if this is long winded! Thank you for any and all comments.

Are you saying Holly isn't your name because you're trying to preserve anonymity on here or because it was another woman's name and now a woman of that name has started interacting with him online?

Because, if its the latter, I'd suggest he doesn't see the once a fortnight meet up with you as serious and has now met someone he has a bit of mentionitis about.

It would seem strange to tell you he'd met another woman, that he'd been telling his friends about her and now she's interacting with him a lot. It sounds like she has met someone she thinks she is in the initial stages of 'getting to know' relationship wise.

You've been seeing him for a few months. It shouldn't be giving you this level of angst. I'd talk to him though and say how you feel. The above is what I would think in your shoes. It doesn't mean I'm right.

Gosh, I think I'd have pulled him up there and then. Who is Holly and laughed..his reaction would have probably told you alot. It wouldn't be unreasonable to say, ' so you called me Holly during our chat the other day and now 'Holly's liking your posts? Anything you want to tell me?'
It's early days, so lay your cards on the table. Better now than later.

Thank you. I guess I have to bite the bullet and ask him, I suppose I can keep it quite low key and see how he reacts.

I do really like him but at least if I walk away now it’s better than in a years time.

Recent experience of this and my now ex was still chatting up and flirting with all the other women he had been with before me. Basically just keeping them dangling.