Going off someone when have PMT

[Therapylater]

Have been single for many years, never finding a connection to anyone. Met someone few months back and felt strong connection, mutual and all going so well, been so happy. I have history of pushing people away during pmt, and did warn him of this and not to take it personally and that I would try and control it but in moment I don't see it. Last month was ok, but this month I'm just really going off him as I went over this evening and his flat was a real state and smelt of fish he had cooked for dinner and his dog... I know its unreasonable but it turned my stomach and I feel myself going off him and I really don't want to. He is a lovely man and been so good to me. Any advice?

But isn't his flat being in a state and stinking a good reason to be put off?

You don't want to end up clearing up after some bloke in a relationship - I'd find it quite unpleasant that he's already so complacent in your company that he hadn't bothered to tidy up a bit before you arrived.

You go over and his flat and a state and stinks??

PMT or otherwise ye needs to be making an effort 🤢

What if it isn’t to do with your PMT and it’s actually your gut instinct telling you his place is a state and you could do better - especially this early into things.

I told him and left. He has messaged to say he is currently cleaning and thanks for pointing it out as sometimes his head so busy doesn't notice it.

He's so lovely otherwise don't want to ruin it for this

Anyone else go off people/withdraw from relationship when have pmt?

I don't really get why you think it's purely PMT.

So any other time of the month you turned up at his place and it was heaving, you'd be fine?

I guess if you determined that's what it is, just be busy for a few days around when you're due on, and see him more in the in-between times until you get more settled with each other?

Could you take the pill?

Sense of smell can change with hormones so that might be a factor. Also yes fluctuating oestrogen can make you lose your ‘Rose tinted goggles’ so you might not like a man as much at certain times of the month. Maybe just don’t see him during that time (and be very wary around peri as symptoms can be even worse)

Yes I can totally get what you say as I have seen myself do it. Every month for about a week before my period I withdraw, don’t want to be around them and see all the flaws!

I’m awful one week before my period. I’m aware of it so don’t take it out on others, but I feel totally different. Most things irritate me and most people annoy me. I take a natural balancer to try and keep me level through the whole month, it’s defo helped

Yes I'm like this at certain times of the month.

I think it's the raw hormones kicking in

The reason we get horny at certain times is obvious and the reason we kind of repel is at the time when the hormones are changing and not having any of it.

For that one week a month I don't like dh natural pheromone smell at all and he irritates me and the rest of the month it's fine

Any posibility that with pmt you actually see the wood for the trees, whereas other times, the hormones that make you fancy someone, actually cloud your judgement?
On this occasion, he's noted what you said as you weren't wrong, and he's doing something about it. So really, you have his independent response that your assessment was correct. You could see it as quite handy that once a month at least, you are out of the honeymoon haze and can be objective, most people don't see things until well down the line and more invested.Take it as a bonus, there was probably good reason why the others didn't work out, and it wasn't the pmt I'll bet.