How to get over that crush

[Aliep]

He's strung me along for 5 years but nothings ever happened and it's taken me this long to realise it never will. Any help appreciated on how to get over a crush you will inevitably run into occasionally and does drop you a monthly text to check in and let you know he saw something that made him think of you🙄

Please no 'imagine him on the toilet' stuff.

It might help if you block him on your phone as that text is going to stir things up for you every month.

Then I'm just be very busy. Fill your life with a million things you've wanted to do, study, take up a new hobby, plan a holiday, take up a new exercise, volunteer, join a club. Anything to keep yourself occupied and give yourself something to else think about.

Change his name in your phone to "time wasting, stringing along, bread crumbing, attention & validation seeking wanker".

When his message comes in delete it, or put them on silent or whatever.

does drop you a monthly text to check in and let you know he saw something that made him think of you🙄

In the interest of being totally fair, are you sure he doesn't just think you're a mate?

It's possible though I'd say near impossible he hasn't picked up how I feel. Even so, I need help getting over it.

Sounds like a hes enjoyed keeping you interested.
This sounds like more than a crush-5 years? Look up the Living with Limerence page for support x

I listened to a podcast on limerance last year and it certainly resonated. I worry sometimes that talking and thinking about it too much makes me fixate. I also notice that when I experience a lot of anxiety, the craving for him is so much stronger.

It’s an extremely strong experience, some think it’s like an OCD type issue. The website I mentioned is a support community- if it resonates I would definitely check it out.

Keep yourself busy and focus. Keeping your mind and body busy in activities you like is the best thing to not expend time thinking about or thinking of.
When he pops in your mind, shake the thought, don't feed it.
The more you feed it the longer it will stay.

The guy I was seeing last year does this, a text every few weeks, I’m sure he think he’s just keeping me sweet incase he decides he wants a relationship but he can get lost. I can’t block him as I work for same organisation and sometimes he messages via teams. Just block this guy - best thing. He’s just keeping you hanging

5years is a long time have you both been single or does he just contact you when he is without a partner ? Could he be insecure that you may reject him ?

I've been in a couple of relationships in that time but he's always been in the background. He is very guarded about relationships and I only tend to find out after he's had something with someone. The funny thing is, I know we wouldn't work. He is much older than I am and while we click on some things, he's a bit grumpy and sceptical of women having been treated badly in the past. Doesn't stop me though...it's like I'm perfectly able to ignore the logic which should keep me away from him. Sometimes I think due to my low confidence, I just want to hear how he truly feels.

Have more fun.

I tend to think stay away from relationships at work, it sounds like he is after an ego boost from you when it suits him. If something was going to happen it would have by now it's not like he's shy in asking others out on dates. Best advice block and keep out his way & find someone who doesn't think you'll do when there is no one else. You sound lovely & gentle him not so much. Go enjoy your time just now you won't get it back

Block him and delete everything about him from your phone. Pretend he never existed.

Anything else, you are a fool.

He's completely using you, I'm sure he is aware that you have feelings for him and that's unkind to keep accepting your attention for an ego boost.

He sounds awful.

Once I actually did remove him off all social media but forgot about blocking via WhatsApp. He texted asking how I was doing so I was as casual as possible like 'yeah, fine, you?' and he said 'yeah good, apart from being taken off your social media which I had so many sleepless nights over and the thought of what I'd done wrong nearly drove me mad'....it's like he was being over dramatic to illustrate he was just joking around but also wanted to know what he'd done wrong. I was a complete fool and said 'oops, accident, sorry!' he then was able to re-add me.

He's playing games with you, end the communication, end the connection, honestly take the power back, find real people to connect with.

This one is a user.
Look after yourself.

Just do it properly this time then

What a narcissist. He wants you to watch him as his adoring audience & fawn over him. Burst his ego and block forever. It’ll do you good

This. What a narcissistic cock. Block and delete.