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Original poster

Would you be annoyed if a guy you're seeing didn't reply for nearly 3 days?

62 replies

Situationship101 · 21/04/2024 20:37

Just wondering if you would be annoyed or feel disrespected if the guy you're seeing ignored your message with a question in it for nearly 3 days and then gets back in touch like nothing happened.

OP posts:
Grendell · 21/04/2024 22:54

What was the unanswered question?

Frazzledmummy123 · 21/04/2024 22:56

I would feel annoyed and hurt too. What would annoy me the most is getting back in touch as though nothing happened.

I'd ignore and move on. His actions have spoken louder than any words 💐

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/04/2024 23:05

If it was a situation ship I wouldn't get myself too worked up as I'd probably do the same to him if I didn't feel like texting him that day .

If you want it to be more though...

EBearhug · 21/04/2024 23:08

Previous man I'd have been worried.

Current one has just messaged after 2 days. I assumed he had either succumbed to the cough he had on Friday or busy with other stuff. Didn't really care. Turns out to be family bereavement. The fact I don't care either way tells me quite a lot though...

Moonshine5 · 21/04/2024 23:56

I would think he's not that into you

DatingDinosaur · 22/04/2024 00:06

Grendell · 21/04/2024 22:54

What was the unanswered question?

Let's hope the OP doesn't take 3 days to reply then ignore your question 😂

Original poster
Situationship101 · 22/04/2024 00:12

@Grendell it was just a general , how are things? question

OP posts:
Grendell · 22/04/2024 00:21

Ya, that's rude on his part to not reply sooner.

Arconialiving · 22/04/2024 00:25

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 21/04/2024 21:36

Just ignore him and when he asks why:

"No offence Tony but whilst I don't want to jump into anything heavy I do want a certain level of interest and to go several days without so much as a text just isn't what I'm looking for. So I won't be seeing you again. No hard feelings, take care".

Calm, undramatic and straight to the point. Don't block him unless he starts harassing you. It's commonly advised here but unless there's a real need to put a barrier in front of someone (i.e if they are harassing you) it's just petulant and makes the blocker look a twat!

This!

Fuckstix · 22/04/2024 05:53

In my experience of situationships/ FWB it would be pretty normal not to be in touch for a few days. Have your feelings changed or was it an important question?

Either way, if it's not making you happy, politely draw a line.

philosoppee · 22/04/2024 06:45

You are totally right, disrespectful and ruins any nice feelings at the start of something.

Aussieland · 22/04/2024 06:48

Edenmum2 · 21/04/2024 21:35

Lots of games at the start of relationships, I would keep him at arms lengths a little bit if he's going to do that but I don't think I'd end it. I certainly wouldn't give any satisfaction by calling him up on it. Depends how much you like him I suppose as to whether you're willing wade through the early relationship mind games.

There shouldn’t BE any early relationship mind games.

Justcallmelucy · 22/04/2024 06:53

Yeah it's not a great indicator for what he'd be like as a boyfriend. Walk away.

mumofoneanddone82 · 22/04/2024 07:05

Yep! I would. I genuinely believe if a guy likes you he will show it. Case in point guy I've been seeing has text me consistently for past
Month! Last week he had a stressful week at work, text me all about it. I offered a listening ear and support and advice! At the weekend he was quiet and weird in answers! I called him out for being distant... apparently he was just mentally drained from the week before! Didn't hear from him at all yesterday! To me that says 'lost interest'! Won't be texting him as I can't be arsed with the hot and cold! If he genuinely liked me as much as he apparently said he did for the past month he'd want to send a check in text! Men and OLD are the worst!

Whu · 22/04/2024 07:24

I feel I like casual dating has become so intense now. When I was dating I felt suffocated by the pressure to be messaging daily or more. Maybe he was super busy with work/ kids/ life or he felt unwell. I’ve got adhd and honestly even those closest to me like my own mum I will forget to message back sometimes if it’s just chit chat.
It’s not a reflection of how much I care about someone. Your message was just a general ‘how are you’ so to me that was just a causal chat and didn’t need an urgent reply. if you had said ‘do you want to want to go for dinner tomorrow night’ or ‘I’m having a terrible day, can we chat later’ then I would have responded there and then.

All that being said if it’s not acceptable to you then that’s completely understandable and you just explain that / let it go.

Dewdilly · 22/04/2024 07:38

I’d be fine with it. “How are you?” is just general chitchat. I would hate any expectation to reply immediately, even within three days, to something like that. I don’t think it’s rude at all. It smacks of neediness and self-centredness.

Original poster
Situationship101 · 22/04/2024 07:45

,@whu yes I know my message wasn't urgent or anything but it's just a basic lack of manners and plain rude, I think, to read a text and ignore it for a few days and then get back in touch without even an apology for taking so long to get back to me. Even if a friend did this, I would be annoyed and I certainly wouldn't do it to someone else.
So yeah, I suppose for me it's not acceptable, but I totally get that others wouldn't be bothered by it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Situationship101 · 22/04/2024 07:49

@Dewdilly that's fine if you're ok with that but I'm thinking you must have a pretty low bar when it comes to dating. Literally about 95 percent of the people that replied to the thread would not have been ok with it.
And I don't see how wanting basic manners and a bit of respect smacks of neediness and selfishness.

OP posts:
Dewdilly · 22/04/2024 07:53

Situationship101 · 22/04/2024 07:49

@Dewdilly that's fine if you're ok with that but I'm thinking you must have a pretty low bar when it comes to dating. Literally about 95 percent of the people that replied to the thread would not have been ok with it.
And I don't see how wanting basic manners and a bit of respect smacks of neediness and selfishness.

I don’t think it’s basic manners, though. No one I know would ever feel the need to reply to a message like that quickly. I have a high bar and high standards, and things like “messaging rules” are petty, and, yes, needy and demanding.

Startingagainandagain · 22/04/2024 07:57

He is showing you that you are not a priority.

Dump him and block his number.

Original poster
Situationship101 · 22/04/2024 07:59

@Dewdilly "like that quickly". You're talking as though I expected a reply within a couple of hours, it was almost 3 days. It doesn't sound like you have a high bar and standards if you're ok with this.

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 22/04/2024 07:59

Situationship101 · 22/04/2024 00:12

@Grendell it was just a general , how are things? question

So a general query , I thought sometimes this means just 'how you doing?' And a reply not expected. You seem clear about how you feel about it though and it sounds like the situationship isn't working for you now. Move on if it's not want you want .

DatingDinosaur · 22/04/2024 08:28

Mmm. Men more than women aren't that big on general chit-chat comms so I can sort of 'get' him not answering a 'how are you' question - it implies having a text conversation which he might have been too busy at the time to get involved with.

I'm guilty of this, particularly at work when my phone is in my bag and I might glance at it at teabreak (so shows as read) but then be in conversation with people in the room and don't have time to dedicate to replying properly. Replying with something quick like 'fine thanks, how are you?' opens a conversation and I'd probably not see the reply for another couple of hours.
Edit: so I tend to leave 'how are you' conversations for later in the day when I'm sat with a cuppa I have time.

I would still hope for a bit of a response later in the day with a 'sorry, was busy earlier' type of reply though - when he did have some time. So 3 days of silence then no explanation or apology would make me think he's not that bothered.

FinkleFlint · 22/04/2024 09:18

I wouldn’t mind not hearing from him for 3 days, but if I’d asked a question taking 3 days to reply is rude and shows a lack of interest

Unless he’s got a decent explanation?

solice84 · 22/04/2024 09:19

I wouldn't be
I wasn't
He got dumped
He clearly wasn't interested in a relationship with me

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