Hi, I’m a first time poster so sorry in advance that I don’t know all the acronyms yet. I’m writing this as I have no one to talk to about this issue. So long story short I’ve been with me “partner” 5 years, we have two daughters. One is 3, one is 6 months. He used to work away abroad for 6 -7 months of the year (split between 3-4 month spells) at the start of the relationship. We met on an online dating website. When we spoke before we met we discussed interests and I told him that I love running, and the gym and always prioritised this (before kids). He said he enjoyed fitness too, getting up early going for runs. The first time we met I really liked him, he was in shape, respectful dressed nice and seemed like he cared about his health. He then went away again. When he came back he still looked nice although he never really showed an interest in coming exercising with me at the gym or park despite saying he had an interest in fitness before we met. This carried on until around 2020 when he was home for an extended period due to lockdown and the time I became pregnant with our first. We decided to live together and it was then I realised his bad habits. He would overeat everyday, fart, burp, drink every night and didn’t exercise I just initially put it down to it being lockdown and that he wasn’t motivated however he then would make comments about us not having sex anymore and making jokes about it. He isn’t even funny he just copies jokes and memes from Facebook. Anyway, I ended up becoming pregnant in April 2020. He finally managed to fly abroad again in July 2020 leaving me for 5 and a half months before he returned ready for our daughters birth. I was expecting him to have shed a little weight at this point as I know he can’t drink when he works away however his weight hadn’t decreased but it seemed stable. It’s here where i started to stop finding him attractive i didn’t even want to kiss him or have sex. So I distanced myself but to be honest I also thought it might of been because I was heavily pregnant. Once my daughter was born he was pressuring me into having sex 6 weeks PP after an episiotomy which I felt like sandpaper and not myself. At this time I did feel a bit more attracted again towards him due to us having a baby together. Fast forward to the end of 2022, he came back After another spell away, I had just lost my mum to a long illness. I felt he still hadn’t lost weight but his weight was stable. I really wanted another baby and I know it sounds bad but he wanted another one too so I got myself tipsy so I could go through with having sex with him as he just isn’t bothered or interested in his health and he was over eating loads. We’ve recently had our second baby. I told him in April 2024 that I was getting tired of not being like a proper couple and that I was concerned at the amount of beer and wine he consumes and that he doesn’t eat any food or vegetables. To be honest that’s only made him worse as he purposely eats junk sits on his behind all day when he’s not working and doesn’t move or even bother to be active. I’ve even mentioned our girls, like does he not want to be fit and active for them? I’m embarrassed to be seen as his partner and embarrassed to be around him with his inappropriate jokes and bum crack showing all the time because his trousers won’t fit properly and he won’t bother to get bigger ones. I’m tired of him not showering sometimes going four days without one. I really am at the end of my tether. I’m not being vain but I’ve always taken care of myself throughout pregnancies exercised everyday, walked where I can. Yeah I have the occasional treat but he’s having family size meals everyday, I counted ten slices of bread he had yesterday with his soup. I am unhappy but because my mum was all I had, I feel trapped and can’t afford to move out on my own because I work part time but I’m on maternity at the moment so my finances aren’t great. I wish my mum was here I miss her guidance