Is my reaction normal?

[birleywoo]

I re visited an old thread earlier but decided to start a new one.

My ex husband today has emailed me to let me know his girlfriend is pregnant his child.

They have been together for 5 months.

I kicked him out due to continuous abuse (police involvement) and within a couple of weeks he moved straight in with her. I have no idea if he was seeing her behind my back towards to end of our marriage.

He has 3 dc to 3 different women - we have a child together. One child he doesn't see anymore as that child decided he wants no further contact with his dad.

This is baby number 4 to the 4th mother.

He has put me through hell with various things.

I emailed back to say congratulations and then had a small cry. I don't know what to think.

I haven't seen him personally since I called the police on him almost 6 months ago. I only allow contact 1 day every other weekend with ds seeing him.

Ex went through a period of 10 weeks of no contact with ds - exs choice. I won't be allowing anymore contact if ex asks for it but now I feel extremely confused as ds will obviously want to see his new sibling which I don't want to get in the way of....but equally this has disaster written all over it. Or maybe it doesn't...I don't know.

Ds is extremely confused about ex and the new gf. Ex introduced her and her dc straight away. Then there was the 10 week period of no contact. Now contact had resumed and ds js back seeing his dad and the new gf and her kids....but he still doesn't know their names and always talks about how he wants 'daddy to come home'

1 - I feel it's a slight kick in the teeth. He was abusive but we are still married. There is still an emotional attachment there slightly. I feel completely worthless after 8 years of being together that within 6 months he's got another woman pregnant and a brand new family - though no one falls in love quicker with a narcissistic with no where to live.

1. I'm worried for ds and this change for him. How he will cope. What happens if it goes wrong. Ds already has a brother he no longer sees (the one that doesn't want to see my ex anymore). All this has been so hard on him.

Typical behaviour though. Ex said it was a complete shock. He wanted me to get pregnant straight away. Pretty certain he's just following old patterns....

Sounds like you’ve got your head screwed on to me.
You recognise that this is emotional because of your son and because you were together so long.
But you also realise the kind of person he is and why you are no longer with him; abuse, multiple children by different mothers. That he’s an ex for a reason.

Don’t waste anymore energy on him. It’s upsetting-yes. It’s normal to feel like that, doesn’t make you jealous or unhinged. It’s perfectly normal.

About your son, then you’ll just make decisions as you see fit as time goes on. You don’t have all the answers right now because you don’t actually know what going to happen in the future (if they will stay together etc). You know that when you make the decisions-that it will have your child’s interests put first. So have confidence that you will make the right choices and are a good parent.

And that’s all you can do. Seriously, do not lose any sleep over this man who abused you. Don’t let this torture you too

What a charmer! Your poor poor son being caught up in all these different relationships. I think you should continue what you’re doing - keep the limited contact and continue to provide a stable home at your place.