DH and I are going through a rough patch and I just don’t know what to do to improve things. We’ve been together 17 years, married for 7, with two primary aged DC.
We’ve both had significant bereavements the past few years, and his were more complex than most. He’s had time off for depression (returned to work about two months ago) and he has been active in managing it. I’m in peri and have found that difficult. So we’ve both had a lot going on.
We do love each other and still have affection. However we argue all the bloody time about ridiculous things. He gets frustrated at what I perceive to be very small things, and just can’t let it go. Gone off food in the fridge for example, stuff done “wrong” etc. I try not to sweat the small stuff as I cba frankly, and so he gets frustrated easily and I feel he blow things out of proportion.
We just seem to get stuck in a loop of negative feedback and I don’t know how to change it. He’s not speaking to me this evening and the kids are asking why. I think being PA like this is childish and rude. Yet if I raise a concern it is always back to me as being at fault. He even said earlier that I cause him to shout, which is ridiculous.
I would like to suggest marriage counselling, but I’m scared he will say no. And then I just don’t know what to do.