Fed up

[Mehandfedup]

Not really sure what I’m looking to achieve from this, I guess I’m just posting for a rant! Anyone else feel fed up, burnt out, unappreciated with friends/relationships?

Im approaching 40 and just realised ive always just accepted less from people around me, things that i just used to accept now bother me alot

One friendship group I’ve always been the third wheel, the other two are “best friends”. Weirdly their treatment of me at school has started to bother me all these years later or maybe I’m no longer in denial with it (just being left out of things, they were very hot and cold with me) Fast forward to adult life we have phases of seeing each other regularly but the other two are drifting apart and there is a lot of unspoken resentment between them over various things, one is very passive aggressive and has taken to ignoring us for weeks/months and then messaging to say how crazy busy she is- she’s no busier than anyone else that juggles kids/work. I feel like leaving the chat and just speaking directly to the other but don’t want to be dramatic. Then I think fuck them both actually 😂, it’s almost like I’m invisible and she’s happy to take or leave me!

My other friend (separate to above) is who I would deem to be my best friend, but I was gutted not to be asked to be her maid of honour last month, she would be mine (I’m not married), im still part of bridal party but clearly doesn’t see me the way I see her. Realised after all these years im just a sideline friend and she has always had friends that come and go who she gets on better with/has more of a laugh with. She obviously hasn’t done anything wrong and it’s her choice but i felt like someone punched me in the stomach when she didn’t ask me, feel a bit silly for thinking all this time I was her best friend, sounds very petty when I type it out I know

My relationship I’ve realised is just crap! Weve spent the last few years navigating young children/work life balance which I know is never easy,Im on mat leave and do the brunt of everything and we’ve had numerous conversations about doing our fair share. Ultimately I don’t have any spare time for myself and he seems to have lots. I generally feel very unappreciated, desired or even heard, I’m completely taken for granted. Im exhausted, fed up and deserve better, I know I just need to talk things out but it’s all so draining and we’ve been here 10 times before

In the last month I just feel like something has clicked and I’m like why am I clinging on to these friendships or allowing myself to be last in the pecking order! Why should I have to tell my partner to step up and help me repeatedly, why is he happy to see me burnt out and running around like a blue arsed fly whilst he turns on his Xbox! I read all this back and think is it me, am I just depressed and now looking at everything negatively

if you’ve got this far and listened to me ramble then thankyou I appreciate it!…any words of wisdom/advice or to hear similar experiences and how you navigated them would be greatly appreciated 😊

Feel for you op and feeling the same. Flaky friends. Ages to reply to messages you thinking does anyone want meet up. Def felt used by people. I dont know. I stopped chasing people and try do new things. Feel females are complex lol.

OP you are perfectly entitled to just feel what you feel. No analysing. No dilution. They’re your feelings and every right to vent and rant.
Sounds to me like you desperately need a break, to feel and be appreciated and to have the assurance that other people feel the same way about you as you do about them. Can feel very flat and lonely give give giving and feeling constantly unappreciated or second best.
Unfortunately the people in your life (and most of us have a version thereof) unlikely to realise or even necessarily be doing it intentionally which may be one saving grace. There’s an old saying:

Laugh and the world laughs with you
Weep and you weep alone
For the sad old earth
Must borrow its mirth
But has trouble enough of its own

Certainly I’ve found had to get myself through the tough times. Your loved ones maybe struggling with their own issues (reason not excuse) - still sucks - is shitty and don’t blame you at all being completely fed up.

Given you can’t control their behaviour. I’d recognise that you need some you time and something to look forward to. Tell your partner (don’t ask) I need a break so from now on every x you have the kids. Explain just like xbox is his escape and me time you are feeling it always being on duty.

Friends should be cherry on top. Be glad you are part of the wedding party (sounds like you are and totally see why you’re hurt) and make it the best day for your friend. They say to have a friend you have to be one and in doing that hoping you straighten your crown as what an awesome kick ass woman to still do your best.

This life malarkey not easy. Many of us can relate but at very least know you aren’t alone and what you feeling completely valid x

Thankyou so much, love the old saying! It’s nice just to have people listen/acknowledge - even if you are strangers! X

i feel exactly the same I have about 3 good friends who I can rely on I hardly have any family just my mum and my grandma but my grandma is very unwell and I help a lot with her on top of having a 16 month old and being 4 months pregnant with my 2nd and working a full time job along with looking after my daughter 95% of the time I get up get her ready walk her down to nursery then go to work pick her back up then do everything for her until she’s goes to bed on top of doing all of the household chores. Dont get me wrong I love my partner he’s a great dad and great to me and we have been together for 10 years but im so fed up of doing everything we have been arguing a lot recently as im not really the pushover type but your Abit stuck when you already have a child and are pregnant In the sense I can’t just walk out and take time for myself he does help but still lives the same life he did before and I just can’t see how he can see how exhausted I am and still not help me I’m bored of hearing myself go on at him apparently I should be greatful for him doing the odd thing such as making tea whilst I do everything else oh and clean the mess up after 🙃