Split from the ex 6 months ago and I have felt so incredibly lonely. I've been the breadwinner for the longest time and have put my kids and job a priority neglecting myself.
I have 4 friends who I chat to regularly. Two never ever want to meet up, even when I was married. I'm lucky if I can grab a coffee every 4months. But I'm lucky we still call each other regularly.
The other one who I'm super close to is leaving in a week.
My other friends is a good 15years older than me, which is fine, we get on really well. But our interests are different which means that when I think of a get together for an event, she's not keen on going, which I respect.
I feel like I need to meet more people who I can meet up with regularly. I have no hobbies me my time is limited with work and kids. I don't even know where to start? Where I Iive it's a small place, with friendship groups established since childhood and very difficult to integrate into. I tried a Zumba class which was ok, asked one group of friends if they'd like to go the local pub after Zumba. They said they were all tired, I showered up and went to the pub myself and they were all there. Rejection at its finest.
My friend who's older than me and who I get along with has upset me a little. She knows I need to start to meet more people and as she is quite social, she said she'd invite me out to help me meet other single/working mums. I was so excited as it took the awkwardness away of trying to meet folk alone. I thought this was so kind. She's since been out socialising, quite often, but never mentions it until the next day. I do understand to an extent, she wants to have different friend circles and I respect that, even though I did find it a little upsetting.
Anyway I'm now sat twiddling my thumbs. I have children but they are a bit older now and have their own little lives now, probably pushing the feeling of that loneliness.
I'm not sure how to get myself into hobbies? Or how to meet people in such a small and established community. Funnily enough when the odd newbie enters my hometown, people swarm them and accept them in but as a long standing inhabitant, nobody's willing to integrate them. I have tried on a few occasions.
Work - I am a manager of a small company and am responsible for about 12 people. My job role unfortunately doesn't encourage me to socialise with my colleagues. I did try this route and it backfired on me big time so now I keep it professional.
Please be kind to people. Just because they've lived in a community for a life time doesn't mean that they had friends.