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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Guilt and misery

16 replies

SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 11:16

Hello,

I like so many others on mumsnet emerged from an abusive marriage but since then have really ricocheted around and one of the things I’ve done turns out to be very bad.

I reconnected with an old flame and it was very magical. He was just beginning his separation while I was a few years in. We had deep feelings and saw each other tentatively, on and off. Ffwd to now, almost a year later, and I’ve been straightforward ghosted. It’s really disorientated me, and I’m very worried that he’s actually not broken up from his partner at all. It’s not a big city and I feel at once entirely ignored and also very exposed. I’m just not strong enough to be named in someone else’s marriage breakdown, especially not of a couple where I know them both. I feel really hideous inside, guilt and misery, coupled with missing him and feeling conned. He was charming, too charming, I now realise.

To make it worse in the gaps of this I have begun lightly dating a real, newish, nice man, which I didn’t think was that serious. However it’s picked up now and I have realised, partly in contrast to this other fellow, that he is gently and trustworthy and exactly the sort of person I should have a tentative thing with.

I’d like to move forwards with the nice guy now and make it proper, but I’m so worried it will all come to light about the horrible other thing.
Should I confess to someone— everyone?— about the thing with old flame, or just hope it doesn’t come up?

I feel on the one hand like poor me, I’ve just narrowly missed being taken for another ride by a rotter and should be allowed to quietly move forward, and on the other hand like maybe I’ve unwittingly been the longish term other woman in a marriage breakdown and should confess to them all and then try to leave town.

Everyone has kids

OP posts:
SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 11:24

I’m worried old flame is going to tell his ex?-partner, or even worse that I’ll be framed somehow in their reconciliation. I suppose that is just part of the shock of it and a realisation of my naivety

OP posts:
Psychoticbreak · 19/04/2024 11:36

You dont know he was cheating on her for sure and even if he was you didnt know they were together. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Hes a prick for ghosting you though.

Seaoftroubles · 19/04/2024 11:41

OP, as far as you knew he was separated, that was what he told you and you had no reason to thik otherwise. l don't understand why you are so plagued with guilt now, there's no need to confess anything! Move on with your nice, new man and be glad you had a lucky escape.

SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 11:43

I suppose part of me feels like the ghosting must be in connection to a big shift or change of heart. When maybe actually he was just a big standard tosser.

OP posts:
SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 11:43

*bog!

OP posts:
SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 11:44

And I suppose the pace of it reminded me a bit of my abusive ex, since it hasn’t turned out to be ‘real’ and also worried about slight overlap with new man

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SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 11:45

Also just misery feeling of being tricked again.

OP posts:
SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 12:33

Anyway thanks pps, that’s already really helped. I just felt morally like a monster

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SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 13:38

Has anyone else dealt with this sort of turbulence after a bad marriage?

OP posts:
SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 17:38

I guess this mess didn’t really resonate with people… don’t known what advice I’m looking for exactly

OP posts:
theworldie · 19/04/2024 17:42

I’d say if he’s blocked you it’s highly likely he’s hoping to carry on with his wife as if nothings happened and not hear from you again - I doubt he’ll be telling her anything!

Don’t worry about it. Considering moving and the upheaval this will cause your dcs etc over this when nothing has actually happened seems a little extreme!

theworldie · 19/04/2024 17:43

SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 17:38

I guess this mess didn’t really resonate with people… don’t known what advice I’m looking for exactly

And it does resonate with me - I was unknowingly the OW and I understand how shit it feels. Block him right back and anything/anyone to do with him. It will help you move on that much quicker.

category12 · 19/04/2024 17:50

If he was still with his partner and was cheating on her, it's not your fault - you didn't know.

It is super unlikely he'll confess and make you out the scarlet woman - the m.o. of cheaters tends to be deny deny minimise.

If he's getting divorced, there's no fault divorce these days and even if it was for the reason of infidelity, naming co-respondents is strongly advised against by most solicitors. (Because it just gets messy and slows everything down and is in no-one's best interests.)

Don't sabotage a good thing with this nice new man with misplaced guilt.

SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 18:13

theworldie · 19/04/2024 17:43

And it does resonate with me - I was unknowingly the OW and I understand how shit it feels. Block him right back and anything/anyone to do with him. It will help you move on that much quicker.

I worry about blocking him in case he tells me something important

OP posts:
category12 · 19/04/2024 18:29

What could he possibly have to say to you that is important? Really?

It sounds like an excuse not to, to be honest.

And if you are serious about the new guy, some minor overlap might be fine to overlook while it was still casual/non-exclusive, but still being in contact with this man is really unwise.

SheSellsSea · 19/04/2024 18:57

No, you’re right

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