My husband is what you would describe as hands on. He is involved in everything because he involves himself in everything. He interferes in all the tasks I'm doing. It's suffocating at times. Mine washes, cooks, cleans but in a highly dysfunctional way which adds massively to my load. I wish he would just stop intervening but he doesn't stop despite asking him over and over.
Like this morning, we got up, all got dressed etc and I had 30 minutes to give the children breakfast before leaving the house. He takes it upon himself to empty the dishwasher and rearrange the cupboard at the same time rather than just going to work. There were dishes strewn all over the kitchen worktop leaving no space for me to make their breakfast and and packed lunches. Usually, this time is perfectly adequate for what I need to do. I don't like making packed lunches the evening before they're much better fresh in the morning. The issue is that he can not see priorities at all. It has been 10 years of having to point out what the priorities are domestically but he still doesn't grasp it. I could have emptied the dishwasher on my lunch break, he could have just gone to work but instead he gets in the way.
He'll load washing in the evenings when I've asked him not to because I then stay up late drying it when I want to go to bed. It's me that has to deal with all the washing because I work from home and he is out if the house 10 hours a day. I don't mind doing it, I wish he wouldn't interfere as he just manages to balls up my system creating more work for me. He has OCD about needing to see the bottom of the laundry basket. Something he admits. Or he'll do 3 loads on a Sunday morning when we're supposed to be going out for the day and I'm left with piles and piles to put away when we get home. He'll say "I don't know where anything goes..." so it's all left to me! His help is extremely unhelpful.
He'll begin a DIY project at 10pm, just as I'm wanting to go to sleep and he's up and down the stairs being loud and restless. I'm on pins that he may wake the children.
Sometimes he'll be cleaning the bathroom in the morning when everyone is rushing, when I'm waiting to get in the shower because I have somewhere to be and the only way I can get him to stop is by shouting at him because I need to get ready.
I love him as a person but I'm not sure I can live with him anymore. I feel like I'm losing the will! Would it be ridiculous to end my marriage over something like this? Living together feels like an endurance test at times. I'm really not interested in any suggestions of him being neurodivergent, I'm aware of that, more bothered about how the situation is getting to me at this point.