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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I finish our exchanges when no date looming ?

5 replies

itstodaytoday · 19/04/2024 06:57

I'm chatting to a man on line for past three weeks. We live very far apart and this suits me.
We seem to click and are enjoying chats about it the everyday things. He seems kind, consistent and is very keen to meet..
However, we have not nailed down a date. We have both said from the outset that we are extraordinarily busy but would like something lighthearted and casual( but exclusive)
He trains and plays sport every Saturday and has kids with whom he spends a lot of time with but they're older teens/ young adults . They are very close..
An opportunity to meet has become available this weekend.
He has suggested it but the time is awkward but doable for me.
He has suggested travelling to me which is a big journey . I'm happy to meet half way .
Now, he's not sure if it will suit as the timing is all wrong.
I get the impression he is enjoying the slow build up of getting to know me rather than rushing in and meeting without knowing anything about each other .
I too like this but it's now time to meet from my point f view .
What are my options here ?
Ultimatum ? If we don't meet , it's a goodbye ?
Wait one more week for a definite date ?
Or carry on and see where this goes ?
To add, I'm not that keen on meeting straight away , I prefer to get some knowledge about the person and do my research so to speak ! So far , what I've found out is good and from those who know him, he seems like a decent sort.
Thanks.
PS I'm relatively new to this scene after a long and lonely marriage .

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 19/04/2024 06:59

“Now, he's not sure if it will suit as the timing is all wrong.”

what changed to make the timing wrong?

itstodaytoday · 19/04/2024 07:01

A flight time change for a person he's bringing to the airport . Very early morning.

OP posts:
WhiteLeopard · 19/04/2024 07:01

If this date doesn't work out I'd give it one more chance. But do you want to be in a relationship where it's not going to be possible to meet up often?

itstodaytoday · 19/04/2024 07:02

Yes, I'd prefer to be in a relationship where we see each other a couple of times per month .

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 19/04/2024 07:06

You need to meet and see if there is any spark, unless you’re happy with a pen pal. The longer you go without meeting, the more you build up a ‘relationship’ that may never work in reality. If everything else in his life takes priority over you, maybe he just hasn’t got time for a relationship.

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