please help me thru this

[hothunixx]

been with hubby 21yrs married 14. got a beautiful daughter 11 going on 19 ! things not been good for me for a while, i feel trapped and suffocated. am off work with dppression again (2nd time in 12 months) he has always been the dominant partner thinks its funny to call me names ie. bitch, f**k pig etc etc in front of friends this is while im running the house looking after our daaughter holding down a full time job. pressures at work got bigger and bigger and he sits in the chair waiting for me to run round after him. so i left him last november. he swore hed change if i came back and try to repair his relationship with our daughter ( hes always been quite distant with her)so i went back just before christmas and yea he has mellowed a little but i keep expecting the old reactions. i love him but know im not in love with him and so i told him im leaving for good. i just dont think i have any thing left to give any more its sounds awful but i just dont want him any more. i feel so guilty for ending the marriage.....is it my fault?i want out he says he will wait for me, and never have another relationship ever again. we are splitting amicably in fact hes being too nice. advice please on how to handle this and get thru thank you

It sounds as though you need some time on your own to find out what you really want to do, and whether you do want to be with him.

I'm really at the name calling - definitely out of order IMO; and maybe he has mellowed as you say, but it's very easy to slip back into old ways. I wonder if he's being too nie because he's scared this is it?

I hope someone comes along who can help you more, soon.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Dear hothunixx, not really sure what advice to give but him calling you names is a no no and like tmd I'm . A lot of MNs recommend Relate for counseling if you'd like to give a last go. Not being in love with your dh doesn't mean it's all over. It sounds more like a lack of respect and taking you for granted. I think some quiet time away, maybe a stay with your family or a holiday on your own will give you time to look into your heart and find out what YOU want.

Best of luck!!

Hi there not sure what advice to give really. I do feel for you though and it sounds like you would not be the first one to feel this way after having gone back. At least you did go back and give it another go even though you now realise this is how you are feeling. I too think time out will tell.

Good luck and hope some one else has some good advice for you.