How to cope and call it a day

[fuckingidiot2]

My husband of 15 years assaulted me last week and was arrested. Isn't allowed anywhere near me or even in the area. Anyone been in a similar situation and any tips on coping? We have four children which social services are happy for him to have contact with but I'm not used to being a single parent and I'm scared. I know deep down, even once the police and social services have done their investigation he can't come back, the abuse would only get worse. I own my home and have an income which can more than support the five of us but nothing prepared me for suddenly being a single parent to four children 80% of the time. When will this get easier? I'm finding it so hard to keep up an appearance for the children, especially the older ones. Haven't slated their dad at all and encouraged them to talk to him but the stress of this is making me ill. Obviously I'm trying to process what he's done, a separation, and four kids that don't have their dad around. Helpful advice would be welcome

[ElasticElsa]

Sorry this has happened to you, all I can say is head up, one step at a time and you will come out the other side I promise. Being a single parent isn't as bad as you are imagining, what age are your kids?

[fuckingidiot2]

One secondary school, one primary and two twins who are under two. Bigish gap between the two "sets" of kids if you like. I'll get the free nursery funding in about three months when the youngest are two which I'm hoping will take some pressure off but it's still months away and I'm just sat here panicking about how I'm going to cope

[LoveRules]

Just keep thinking of what you need to do right now and try not to feel overwhelmed. You need to get up, get dressed, get everyone fed and dressed, keep the wheels rolling forwards. You can do this. You already are.

Presumably you were living with abuse for some time and this wasn't an isolated one off. So although you may be traumatised from the abuse and the violent attack last week the split is actually good news for you and the children. You will be better than ever without the stress and fear you may have endured until last week.

You have got this. Really.

[Thecatthatgotthesouredmilk]

I'm so sorry you have gone through such a traumatic experience. Do you have any family who could provide you with help or support?

[napody]

You are already coping. Agree with @LoveRules , you've got this. One tiny step at a time. Maybe some counselling if you have the time/money to fit it in? lean on friends if you can, and plan in some fun for all of you when you can too.