I posted last week about my partner not being supportive when I moved out. For background I lived at his for around 8 months as I sold my house and bought off plan. My house was ready 3 weeks ago and I just moved in. It was planned I was only at his temporarily.
since I moved in he has not stayed a night or contacted me much. First night in my house he came round on way back from football. Said he wanted to go home and grab his overnight bag. He was tired as stressed with work and not really sleeping.
3 hours later and he hadn’t turned up. I called him no answer. He called back 20 mins later and said he fell asleep. He then video called me to prove he was at home. This was odd behaviour as we don’t really video call. Because he was shattered and not feeling well. He will come round if I wanted but wanted to sleep early. I said leave it. He said he will come the next day.
Next day I went round to collect my last things in the morning. He was quiet and had packed up my stuff and cleaned his house. He hadn’t lifted a finger when I live there. He said don’t forget your things. I gave him a hug and said don’t you forget me. He said not at all.
he then said without looking at me, I have my lovely house that I wanted, away from him. I hated his village and moaned about the distance from work and my friends. Go to your house be happy and I will see you later.
he came to mine and was very quiet. He hadn’t brought his overnight bag in and asked where it was. He said it was in his car and he will get it later. At bed time he went to get his things out the car and said he forgot his work clothes. It was too late to go back and then come back to mine due to distance. I got upset and he was really sorry, hugging me lots.
due to our plans we agreed to meet on Wednesday. He would come to mine. He has not been sleeping well for weeks and is having a freaky tough time at work. so when I lived with him he was moody, quiet when he was stressed.
Since Sunday he has not texted me or called me. Well he has replied once a day to my texts. He said he was on call and worked till 3am and was up at 6. I called him today and he said he was in the middle of gardening and the call lasted 1 minute. He has gone silent on me.
so I am not too sure if he is upset I have left and adjusting to change. He did say on Friday we were taking a backwards step. I agreed but said I had sold and nearly bought before he offered his place. I was going to rent. He said it made sense to live at his despite the long travel time as it was temporary. He understood it was the plan.
I am also wondering if he is forcing me to end it. I can’t seem to get an answer. I talked about it before I left and he said he wanted his own property and security which I understand as I do too. He said he would look into renting his house out to move to mine. But says he would be at mine for most of the week. Let’s see how it goes.
so give mind. Help me with strategies to approach this. Am I overthinking or am I out of sight and out of mind?