Men being "insecure"

[BillieTheFish]

Is this a proxy for "controlling arse"? If a man treats his partner like an equal, why would he be insecure? I see it all the time and I don't understand it.

[TooMinty]

I think anyone can be insecure for various reasons e.g. upbringing, past relationships etc. However the problem is when they fail to recognise that it's their own problem to deal with and can't be used as an excuse for poor behaviour. Telling a partner that you are insecure and demonstrating steps in place (by you not partner) to control it is fine. Expecting people to modify their behaviour isn't.

[PietariKontio]

I'm quite insecure tbh, and in all honesty, do have controlling impulses, e.g. my wife's going out and I feel like saying "don't go stay with me", but I don't, I recognise it as my problem and instead be happy for her, and plan my evening watching horror movies that she doesn't like.

I thank my good luck in having a 6yr older sister who is an assertive, intelligent and supportive sister and made sure I knew not to do all the bullshit men do, when I was growing up. I'm not saying I would have been a dickhead, but she definitely helped me have a better understanding of it all.

[Pinkbonbon]

Read your opening title and came on to say 'I think you mean - controlling'.

98% of time on here when people imply the guy they are posting about is insecure, he's actually just controlling.

Rule of thumb for me - insecure people look inwards and try to change themselves. Controlling people try to make YOU look inwards and change yourself to pander to them.

[BillieTheFish]

@Pinkbonbon That's why it's in air quotes!