How to silence the inner bitch and help me to stop potentially great things

[oatsb]

From relationships to finances to over eating ??
Jus that .. thanks

I should have said ' destroying' potentially great things .
I have been very hurt, used and abused throughout my long marriage and here I am now on the cusp of meeting up with a new man with whom I get on very well but I see it creeping in already ... being smart or pushy or behaving in a mild testing way so I'm
Really trying to manage this before I destroy this and future relationships and happiness generally .
I am in therapy and she has advised me to journal and use an object to talk to soothe myself , knowing that my inner critic actually does want the best for me but is negative and jumps up when there could be a perceived trigger or threat.
I'm probably not explaining it well but are there any other strategies that work for you?
I don't want to mess up my future because of past hurts.
Thank you

How about talking to the inner bitch rather than silencing her? Being silenced tends to turn inner critics even more critical.

Find out what her agenda is? What is she afraid might happen if she wasn't negative/destructive like this? What would she rather be doing? What gentleness and understanding does she need from you?

Might be best to do this in session with a therapist's support first time around and then continue the conversation through journalling.

Yes we did try this and I guess I'm trying to get
My head round the process . I think the idea is that my inner critic is trying to sabotage me so I won't get hurt so I either don't pursue a wish or I actively turn people off me so I won't get hurt again. Even though my inner critic lives me and wants me to be happy, she is like the alarm bells that warn men off danger but joy in a gut feeling sense .
My behaviours suggest that I try to push people away so as not to be hurt again. But if I do that, I will become t experience romantic
Loved again and I'd like that for myself .
Taking people at face value is hard for me , I've come to realise . How sad 😔