Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Advice for leaving domestic violence please?

5 replies

RicherThanYews · 15/04/2024 23:08

Hello, I'm sorry if I've put this in the wrong place. I'll try to be succinct, if I can. My 64 year old sister (Gloria) lived at home with her 30 year old son (Nigel) her husband died 3 years ago. My nephew Nigel is unemployed and my sister pays all of the bills so my nephew can keep his Jobseekers allowance. My sister claims housing benefit and council tax benefit in her name, my nephews name is on the lease but not the benefits. My nephew had another episode of extreme violence on Friday and my sister text me saying SOS so I drove there, grabbed her and left. She did report her son to the police and subsequently he was arrested and held, he has been released on bail but is not allowed to return to the property. My sister now lives with me, my husband and son.
She wants to move out of her old hometown as my nephew is still there but we don't know how to start the process as my sisters late husband had the login details for the homefinders website where you bid for social housing. This whole situation is such a mess. My sister has got all of her paperwork so that has helped. I'm so so grateful for any practical advice. Sorry for the ramble but I am physically and mentally exhausted, I have several chronic health conditions and I'm physically disabled but I want to help my sister. She is safe and happy now, plus she has her own room so all is well on that front.

OP posts:

Report

StrawberryWater · 15/04/2024 23:19

Call up the housing association first and foremost as they can help with login details and resetting stuff. She also needs to explain the situation to them about fleeing a domestic violence situation.
As for moving house she might need to contact the police for an escort so she can get her stuff out of the old house (if she has any of her things still there).
You also need to declare in writing to her housing association that you can not house her permanently otherwise they might not list her as a priority.

Report

RicherThanYews · 15/04/2024 23:36

Thank you @StrawberryWater , I find lists very helpful and I hadn't considered the priority of the housing list. I'll make sure they know this is temporary.

OP posts:

Report

Yellowcakestand · 15/04/2024 23:53

She can also access local DV services for support.
Womens aid or similar.

Report

Yellowcakestand · 15/04/2024 23:56

Also, if this happened in the home and he is on the tenancy he should be in breach of it so they can remove him from the tenancy if he is named on it. This happened with my situation. Look at the DA policy for the housing association.

Report

RicherThanYews · 17/04/2024 08:40

Thank you for the replies. The violence has taken place in the home for more than 3 years, I didn't know his name could be removed from the tenancy so I will look into that. We are concerned about the home and belongings being damaged but my sister more than I, I'm happy to say sod it and replace the lot.