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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What did you learn from your ex the first time you said no to them?

2 replies

HopeFloatsAbove · 14/04/2024 21:18

Have been following Dr Ramani on YouTube for the past few years, re visit her every now and again, and she is very adamant that you can learn a lot about a man, or woman by saying no to a request of theirs, or no that does not suit me in the first date or two, or three. Or that you can spot a difficult individual, narc? by saying no.

Basically what she means is good men will not push it when you tell them no? And the odd balls will push, override and even become frustrated or 😡

Personally think that had I known this a few years back I may have been able to dodge the abusive ones out there.

What do you think?

I dated a man last summer and said no to his stern request for me to change into heals rather than me waring sandals, during the date he was in a mood. I put a thread on here for advise on this and glad I did as I know I dodged a bullet.

What is MN experience?

And not his is not for daily mail, I am just curious to know myself, if this is something to use to weed out the odd balls.

OP posts:
Pablothepalm · 14/04/2024 21:29

💯

I said don’t call and leave me alone - wouldn’t take no for an answer. Never respected any no - barely so in the bedroom. Looking back I can see this was problematic but young me felt flattered he wanted me “so much”. Hollow laugh, I was so incredibly ignorant.

HopeFloatsAbove · 14/04/2024 21:34

@Pablothepalm This was me as well back in the day, thought it was him being keen and there was so much love bombing that went with it, but saying no meant nothing to them.

OP posts:
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