Ideas - things to do with MIL with limited mobility

[Lowin2024]

My MIL has become increasingly infirm recently and really struggles to walk any distance at all now, which is a shame as she is only late 60s. It means that when we see them it is very difficult to go anywhere as she doesn’t use a wheelchair, but with young kids it’s difficult to stay in all the time, and equally it doesn’t feel fair to go out without her! They are coming to stay for the weekend shortly and I am trying to think of things we could do. She is lovely but very quiet and she definitely wouldn’t make suggestions of her own.

She is very crafty so in the past we’ve gone to a pottery painting cafe, I’ve bought a couple of craft packs for her to do with my daughter at home and we sometimes go out for a meal. I know we could just do nothing and stay home and talk but the weekend does drag somewhat if we don’t have any plans! Is anyone else in the same position or have ideas of something we could do together that doesn’t involve much walking?

Will she use a mobility scooter? Could you hire one just for the weekend?

Sadly she won’t. She’s quite stubborn and doesn’t seem willing to accept her limitations right now 😞

does She enjoy seeing the kids enjoy themselves? Would she go to the cinema to,see a kids film, or watch them at soft play or whatever they like doing? Mum was willing to use a mobility scooter at Wisley with the kids because she could keep up with them, and they loved hitching a ride on it. This opened the way to her getting one of her own.

Do you have a garden, and is the weather in your area likely to be dry ish so you can use it? If yes, garden picnic (borrow outside chairs or take indoor chairs out), treasure hunt for kids? Get them to collect the things grandma tells them, like first one to bring grandma three different green things etc. Giant chalks for outdoor drawing if you have any paving?

Any parks you can drive to and park close to a bench she can sit on?

What about a transport ride that's unusual? Steam train, open top bus, some kind of boat, things like that?

Do you have a park with parking and a cafe? When the kids were little we drove to the park, and had coffee outside while the kids played. You could also look out for a matinee in the theatre or cinema.

Would she go to a cinema? You might have to scope out how accessible it is first and have a chat with the staff - see which is their most accessible screen.

I also wonder about bowling - basically you have two teams, each with a child who does the actual bowling and an adult who sits and applauds.

My mum and her siblings all seemed to consider 'going for a drive' as a leisure activity so I'd find a local beauty spot, pack a thermos flask and go to that. If youre very organised and could meet another family there, maybe your kids could ome too and could have a bit of time climbing a tree/paddling in a stream while you sit with your mum.

Thank you these are all such thoughtful responses. There is a park near us with a nice cafe so that could work quite well; and we do have a garden so the treasure hunt is a nice idea. She’s a real garden lover so something like Wisley or National Trust would be perfect if she could use a scooter but it feels like that isn’t something we could suggest and more something she would need to decide to do herself. If it was my mum I’d probably suggest it but my husband and his family have a very different relationship and I know he wouldn’t feel comfortable making the suggestion. Drives me mad but I’m used to it now!

I would look around for a friend who uses a mobility scooter and aim to meet up with them.

I'm with others who have said they wished so much that the Queen would have used a wheelchair or a mobility scooter in her later years as it would have hugely increased its acceptability in this country. Maybe the King will soon.

I have limited mobility.

Possible suggestions:

Cinema
Specific shop - eg my family all like a second hand bookshop
Pub or similar with outdoor play equipment or soft play.
Outdoor cafe eg like this one

www.theorchardteagarden.co.uk
and take games like jenga etc for the children

Cat cafe
Dog cafe

This was my Mum, though fortunately she did go through using sticks, then a rollator and now does use a wheelchair. She was happy with garden centres especially having a couple of trips to the cafe.

Driving out to somewhere scenic. Everyone else would get out and do something, but she would just go a short distance and watch the kids play.

We did give her the heads up once that we would be going to a country park with a play area for kids and wanted to walk round the lake after. We mentioned that they had mobility scooters so if she wanted to do the lake part that would be the best way. She went for that as she wouldn't want to miss out or hold us back. My niece who was initially scared of the scooter eventually would quite happily get on and off it with her, so Mum enjoyed that.

I know it is hard to mention, but sometimes being a good host is letting her know in advance what you are thinking of doing and letting her select. If the main way to make it doable is to use a mobility scooter it can be handy to suggest it as an option.

Sometimes it can be easier if you make the suggestion as the daughter in law to her directly as you are not meant to know exactly how good or bad her mobility is.

OP I have recently got a mobility scooter and it has made a huge difference, but I understand her reluctance, I went years when I really needed a walking stick.

What about getting her nails done? Either at a salon or in your home, the children can pick the nail art.

Art gallery with a shop and a cafe and some seating.

I second the cinema or a theatre trip.

What about some sort of gardening kit to do with the grandchildren? Maybe plant some sunflowers or even cress.

Scrapbooking? If you get some photo paper you can take pics and print them out so she can go home with a scrapbook of the grandchildren's photos.

I have a polaroid type camera, my dad loves the pics taken with it as he can show them to people at church. I realise your MIL might already be a dab hand with a smart phone. My dad isn't.