25 year old partner struggling with Erectile disfunction

[kittykat818]

Hi, myself and my partner are both 25, we have been together for just over 6 years. Our sex life has always been great up until the last year or two. I was having issues with recurrent yeast infections (thrush) triggered by sex and this led to some other issues between us two and sex was off the cards for a while. When we did try to have sex my partner struggled to stay hard, he said he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the fact the sex was going to lead to me being unwell. We ended up breaking up for a few months but were both miserable and decided to try again. We have found if we use condoms I don't get thrush and for a few months this was great and we had our sex life back and better than ever. In the last 6 months or so my partner has had a really stressful time with his family and work so we have found we have been having sex less, when we have tried recently he hasn't been able to maintain an erection again. This really bothers him, he gets upset and angry with himself. He has assured me he is extremely attracted to me and think our relationship would be perfect if this wasn't an issue. He has said when we go to have sex he cant stop thinking about the fact he might not be able to stay hard, this discourages him from initiating sex often as he thinks it is pointless because he wont stay hard. When we do have sex all he can think about is the fact he will loose his erection so he cant relax or enjoy it. I have tried my best to reassure him and make him feel better but the issue remains. Today he cried when it happened again and he was saying he doesn't feel like a man. Physically he is fine and everything works and he has never been a huge watcher of porn so we are both sure this isn't the issue, it generally seems to be a matter of overthinking and a sort of self fulfilling prophecy! I don't know what I can do to help and I am worried this will end our relationship, we are only 25 and both obviously want fulfilling sex lives. Every other area of our relationship is great so it seems such as shame. Can anyone help or share experiences? Thanks x

Is he on antidepressants? Any history of diabetes, and have you both had an STI screen?

If he wakes up with an erection then less likely to be a physical cause for the ED and more likely psychological. See if your local sexual health clinic has a psychosexual therapy service, they can help!

@WetBandits Not on antidepressants but his mental health hasn't been in the best place recently. No history of diabetes and definitely no STI's - due to my issues with thrush we've both has millions of tests done and always been clear. I think it is definitely psychological he can get an erection it's just once we start having sex he gets stressed he wont be able to maintain it, I will look into the psychosexual therapy! I think because he is worried about not keeping it he starts thinking about that and then he actually doesn't keep it and then he's stressed about it the whole time and this stops him initiating sex even when he might want to.

I know this is an old post but I was wondering how it’s going for you and your partner? I’m on the same boat and have been for almost a year. We’re in our early 30s.
xx

Hi, this probably isn’t very helpful, but I’m just wondering you don’t have an IUD do you? Just because I recently had to get mine removed, I was getting recurrent yeast infections too, and it turned out to be the IUD that was causing it all this time.

Does he watch a lot of porn? This is the usual reason for this problem in young men

I can see this is an old post, but for the love of God let yourself loose. And him. This just looks like early onset middle age syndrome. Get out there, have some fun while you can!!!