I am in a relationship with a man who gaslights me so much, I don't know up from down. I say the sky is blue, he says I am talking rubbish and it's pink. You get the idea. I stay with him because we have two children, and their lives would be disrupted incredibly if we separated.
I earn a fifth of what my husband earns and have done the maths on what I could afford if I were a single mum. I looked into how much child support my kids would be entitled to, and its peanuts compared to what he earns. Why is it that mums/wives stand to lose so much if a marriage breaks down? I will get half of everything, I know this, but my wage will not cover the general cost of living. My husband, however, would be single, be able to afford a nice place, and would spoil the kids. He would have had so much free time (only having the kids every other week etc) and wouldn't have the mental and physical burden of raising two kids. I am a strong woman believe it or not, but I am also not stupid. My kids have a much better quality of life with us being together. I have sacrificed my career to be the primary carer (which he demanded I did, and the arguments went on for a while on this one, wow the guilt he made me feel!!!) so at my age I do not have a fraction of the income I could have been on if I hadn't put my family first. Whereas he has risen up the ladders and earns a substantial amount because I have been the good wife and done everything else.
I hear women taking husbands to the 'cleaners'. I don't want this, I just want what is fair so we can go our separate ways. If anyone reads this thank you so much. It's nice to get it down (I don't have anyone in my life that could listen to this)