Is it love bombing ?

[Mimi198]

I need to know/understand to put this story behind me. A few months ago I met an ex coworker of mine on the street. Totaly unplanned. He invited me for a coffee and we agreed to stay in touch. He was the one to invited me into his life, share his hobbies with me, proposed to make other activities together...Everytime I was with him, he was saying beautiful things to me like: "My house is your house" "My door is always open for you" "I was feeling down but now I feel better because of you"...Until he said mean things out of nowhere and questioning our relationship. All this in a short period of time! I had a couple of dates and relationships in my life but nothing weird like that. What do you think? 🤔

I think you throw him back, thank your instincts, and move on. You’re right to recognise the behaviour as it is. You deserve way, waaay better.

He’s a head fuck, might or might not fit into the defined category of anything 🤷‍♀️ it is, however, a classic hallmark of the narc. Love bombing isn’t really a stand-alone thing, it tends to be a precursor to something else, and in this case it’s the (seems to be) narcissistic devaluation strategy. It’s supposed to trick your brain into being desperate to get back to the love bombing stage, to be mentally bewildered and to try to “be better”. This provides the narc with a supply of your desperate energy, and they give you a glimmer of hope here and there, like a carrot on a stick, to keep you moving towards a goal you will never achieve. The ensuing drama is what they feed off of. Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.