Am i thinking too much into it?

[Boringmumof5]

Me and my partner haven't had sex or anything for 8 weeks, we used to have it about 5 times a month and to go from that to nothing I'm thinking is something going on? Only time he goes out the house is to walk the dog and thats 1 hour on an evening. Whats other people opinion on this? He hardly tells me he loves me, I've asked him if he's going off me ect and he says no. I don't know what to think anymore.

If it was just the sex alone OP I’d say you’re probably overthinking it, we’ve probably occasionally gone a month with no sex when we’re particularly busy/stressed so on it’s own if everything else was fine I’d say that’s not a huge red flag really. But if you’re also saying that he’s not being affectionate at all, not telling you he loves you, not communicating then that’s your bigger issue.

Think he's told me once in those 8 weeks. When he come to bed some times he does cuddle me.

Go with him on the dog-walk?

Is he depressed or stressed? Is his normal routine to only leave the house for a dog walk. There could be lots of reasons for this change, but you need to communicate with him. Don't start with the sex try and find out what else is going on and then bring that up.

Kids are usually in bed when he takes them so I can't.

He is on anti depressants but that doesn't stop him doing the usual stuff he does, yep that's only time he leaves the house. He's always on his PC doesn't help around house or with the kids.

How long has he been on anti depressants, or has he changed his dose.? Loss of libido or inability is incredibly common with SSRIs . I really think they contributed to the breakdown of my relationship. I am not saying my husband shouldn't have taken them , but we really should have discussed how they were affecting us.

About 15 years now and nope his dose hasn't changed. I'm ready for leaving because I feel like it's something I've done, deep down I know it's not me, I do everything for this man.

That sounds really tough, start making plans for a better future. I'm in the middle of it at the moment, it's not easy x

It certainly isn't, would be better of single rather than walking around thinking it's me.

You say he is always on his computer. Could he have a porn habit? Or is engaging with web cam girls? This could explain the loss of desire towards you.

Some antidepressants significantly lower libido.

No he's always gaming.

Never been a problem before.

Have you tried to have a sit down and have a proper heart to heart conversation with him?

I have yeah, he just said you know how it is. The problem is I don't know. He doesn't really communicate with me. I've literally asked him if he still wants me and finds me attractive, he said yeah.

Then you need to say 'no I don't know how it is, I'm really concerned that we haven't had sex for two months and you don't tell me you love me, I'm really unhappy and want to know what has changed. Your behaviour is affecting my mental health and I'd rather be single than be treated like this.'

My husband is like this. Went from at least once a week to once a month very suddenly. All downhill from there and has said the same stuff yours replies with. I’m here 16 years later and it’s no different. No sex since January.

I’m assuming you’ve initiated it plenty of times in that two months? You haven’t just been noticing he isn’t doing so? So is he actively rejecting you?

Oh I'm not Allowed everything's got to be on his terms.

What is the point of this man? He sounds absolutely useless.

On a practical level, can you afford to leave or is it your house?

You're not allowed to initiate sex? Why?
Does he work?

It's my house.

Nope, he just says ill get it when he's ready and no he doesn't work.

It's your house and you say partner, not husband. Oh and he'll give you sex when he's ready?
Chuck him out! What does he bring to your life. He's not even working!