Stupid crush

[LedKing]

I’ve been married since 2007 and love my wife and I am really happy with her.

But last year at work a new person joined and I don’t know why but I developed a crush on them and no matter what I did to not think about them the feeling wouldn’t go away. The person has no idea and did nothing to instigate these feelings plus my wife has done nothing wrong.

Only thing I can think why is to me they are both similar looking and have the same nice personality traits as each other. Didn’t help the crush was single and just kept finding horrible guys and I guess I felt a bit sorry for her and knew I wouldn’t treat them that way but end of the day my wife is the one I love and committed to. I changed jobs a couple months ago but still think about this person and don’t know how to stop? Why do I have these annoying feelings and unsure what to do.

You've changed jobs so you don't see this person on a daily basis. Keep it that way. Crushes aren't unusual, particularly at work. Your feelings will fade. Don't tell your wife.

We all try to look the best and presentable when we are at work place i.e. dressing up, putting on make up, doing hair and speaks properly etc. That’s why crushes and affairs always happen at work place and also in thr gym (Dopamine effect)
You have only seen the best side of her and this is not real!

I’m just annoyed at myself these feelings happened. She was my line manager and when my team had projects I was always alone doing mine as I was the best in the team and could be left alone but if get jealous when she worked with the others and she was the only girl in our company. Plus day dreaming about her didn’t help and it’s like why??? I have a perfectly good relationship at home and have everything I need, why are you in the equation!!!!
I would like to stay friends with her but then I don’t think that would be a good idea

Don't beat yourself up too much. You did the right thing here. Alot of people act on these feelings and ruin lives. You didn't.

We are all human and we all get crushes.

Don't be ridiculous, of course you can't stay friends with her. You're clearly still infatuated with her so why on earth would you want to stay in contact, if you no longer see or speak to her your feelings will fade in time.

Well you answered it yourself op, you like her because she reminds you of your wife, focus on your wife. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re not the first or the last to have this crop up, the more your torment over it the worse it gets, let it pass, really focus on your wife. All the best op.