I come from a small close knit family. My Dsis only have an aunt and her offspring left. Our parents died when we were teens/early twenties.
Our aunt and cousins have made many questionable decisions over the years and ended up being victims of domestic violence, financial abuse, emotional abuse to name but a few.
We have tried helping. Every single time. Even when we were struggling Dsis and I have always tried to support them. We think that is what our grandparents and our mum would want.
However, all advice is ignored then they come to us with a bigger problem. Each time we have said, this could happen but they ignore us, then tell lies to cover things up and finally tell us the truth but by that point it is difficult to help or sort the mess.
Over the years our contact has greatly diminished because it was making us ill, the stress of trying to sort their lives whilst looking after our own lives, jobs, house etc.
We met up with them today. And things are even worse. House is being repossessed, they have sold all our grandfathers things. These things should have been split between us and them but they have taken the lot.one of the children has got into drugs, has started skipping school, is violent towards their mum.
They wanted to meet up to ask for money. Despite us having tried bailing them it before. They also asked us to take in a teenager at least one of them as mum can't cope. She wants a break.
This is my tipping point. I don't think I can deal with all this drama, try and help and things get worse even more. It has been getting progressively worse for a decade and I feel like we are either enabling them to be stupid because they presume we will sort it or they are just taking the piss and think that we have money so it will be ok.
Neither my dsis or I are rolling in cash. Decent jobs but kids, childcare fees etc. there isn't lots left. Certainly not enough to come riding in and sort all their problems.
I think I'm done. I'm not going to be in contact as they only get in touch if they need something. And I always fret and try to sort it but they don't help themselves in any way. Am I being selfish or am I right in saying enough is enough.
Dsis has felt this way possibly longer than me but I feel guilty as I promised my dying grandparents I would take care of everyone. And I have failed. Interesting that the grandparents said that to me at 25 not my aunt who was in her 50s at that time.