How do you become someone who people just want to be around?

[LittleMy899]

You know when they say “she’s just got amazing energy”, the type of person who gets gushing birthday posts about what a great person they are with loads of pictures.
The best people would say about me is that I’m “nice” or “lovely” which sounds great but I’m never anyone’s first thought when it comes to doing anything, it feels like I’m just an afterthought or if someone has nothing better to do.
I know I’m quite shy and anxious and I hate it. But can you change that about yourself? Will I ever be able to be the life and the soul of the party?
My relationship has recently ended to which has knocked my self esteem, we got along and things were good. But I was conscious of the way he spoke about his ex and how he thought of her and that I could just never live up to it. He’s now with someone else who is extremely bubbly, outgoing and the type of person that everyone loves. I just feel low and rubbish!

I'm going to say I'm similar, even my children slightly roll their eyes at how many friends I have. I think I'm decent company, lively, etc but most of all I behave like someone who actively wants to be a good friend and who wants to sprnd time with them - I make plans and keep them, I try things they are interested in even if not my thing, I am not needy or jealous of their other friendships, I let the little things go and I mostly take people as I find them. People like being with people who make them feel good about themselves and that they have a buddy, that they are worthy of friendship. Interestingly, I have also had a much more success in my friendships than in my romantic relationships.