Painful sex affecting my relationship

[redfox14]

For about 3 or 4 months I have been experiencing a lot of pain when DH and I try to have sex. It’s got progressively worse to the point where we literally never have sex anymore and we are only in our late twenties.

I have had a smear recently and mentioned this to the nurse, she said it sounded like vaginal dryness and to just try using lube. We do this already but I find it really stings. The pain inside is like a stretching burning feeling, and then almost like a scraping sensation like something is grating against the inside of my vagina. When we use lube it’s almost like if you rubbed something into a cut, the same sort of feeling.

Went to the GP and told him and he has sent a letter to our local Gynae department; when I asked him what he thought it could be, he said it could be hormonal from being on the pill. But I have been on the pill for 10+ years (apart from when I was pregnant with DD) and this has never happened before.

I have absolutely zero sex drive because I just associate it with pain now. My husband is very understanding but I know it is frustrating for him as he does have a higher sex drive than me anyway, and we used to sleep together frequently and it was a fun and exciting part of our relationship.

Has anyone had a similar experience or know what could help?

Personally I'd skip the GP and go to the GUM clinic. It's their area and a lot quicker and efficient.

Sorry this is happening to you. Have a search for lichen sclerosis or lichen planus. They both present with soreness and inflammation. I hope you get some answers soon

Dry vagina is grim. It’s good you’re referred to women’s health. I have auto immune conditions, including Sjögren’s syndrome - causes dry eyes, mouth, vagina. I use replens all the time - pain on intercourse as you’re finding is a deterrent. Hope you get good help

Lichen sclerosus? Although that tends to affect the vulval skin more so than the vagina. Have a look at that though.

Don’t let anyone fob you off. There’s obviously an issue that needs sorting, get yourself in front of the right person.

I'd be going to a GUM clinic too, might get some answers. You can still take the Gynae appointment when it comes around as well. So you'd get twice the expertise.

How old are you OP, could you be in peri menopause? If so it could be vaginal atrophy. lf the Dr mentioned it was hormonal did he not offer you any estrogen cream to use?

It says, she's in her 20's

Sorry OP, l missed you were I your 20's. Still worth checking out if its hormonal though as for example breast feeding can cause vaginal dryness and VA. The Gum clinic is a good idea to begin with though.

Echoing other posters and saying GUM clinic but also go to GP for swabs and referral onto Gynae for dyspareunia. I'd do both because if the GUM clinic gives you the all clear you're at least already somewhere along the road of being seen by a Gynae dr. Regarding the pill, we don't always get along with the same pill forever so that is still a possibility.
RE Husband, it doesn't have to be PIV sex or nothing intimacy wise (if and only if you did want to be intimate) but I thought I'd say so only because you said you have no drive because you associate it with pain. I hope he isn't making you feel that way.

Are you getting enough foreplay before intercourse? Have you tried getting to orgasm before penetration is attempted?

Thank you for your replies everyone.
I hadn’t thought of trying our GUM clinic, they are really difficult to get an appointment with and have redirected me to the GP in the past re contraception; but I will ring them and see if it’s something they can help with.

In terms of hormones, I’m not breastfeeding and on my usual pill: it just seems to have come out of nowhere really badly. Thank you for all of your suggestions though 😊

Don't let anyone fob you off OP, from experience I know that women's concerns are often dismissed. Get yourself checked for endometriosis, I don't know if you also have painful periods but it can cause very painful sex.