XDH is about to become a father should I get in touch now ref divorce?

[Eve34]

I have just heard on the grape vine that he is about to become a father. This is good news as he has finally moved on and got a new life for himself after 4 years.

I have not asked for a divorce as he has been impossible to get hold over in the past over the house and other things, and I knew he would just do nothing if I contacted him ref divorce.

Now he has a his own family to think about maybe now would be a good time to get the ball rolling?

What do you think? I am genuinely pleased for him, although wish his new partner all the luck in the world as he was a lazy good for nothing.....lets hope he has changed hey

Yes, probably a good idea.

My partner and I had our daughter before he divorced btw

As did me and my DP - it isn't an issue for me I have to say as I really don't want to get married again, although DP would jump at the chance. I don't know why I don't want too though!

Will write to him and see if he is happy to get the papers signed etc. Just got to find the money.......

I don't want to get married either.

But I still think that when you are in a new couple/family, it's best if your partner isn't actually married to someone else

I absolutely love your attitude Eve, its so great you want your ex to move on and be happy!

I also agree with you and Anna. It is best with you both having new families that the divorce proceedings start. As it is you are both legally eachothers next of kin, still have financial ties etc.

Best to get the ball rolling for the security of everyone methinks

Definitely a good idea if you can keep it pretty amicable too.

You can divorce on the grounds of 2 years post-separation if you both consent.

5 years post-separation if neither of you consents.

Probably best to have an informal chat first and bring it up, bring closure etc.

You should really use a solicitor too as I think some of these DIY divorces off the tinternet aren't really water tight.

If you aren't going to claim or have him claim spousal maintenance either you can get something called a Consent Order which is a legally binding agreement to full and final clean financial break.

A divorce petition will cost £350 and with a Consent Order you're probably looking at anything from $500 in total for the divorce to £800-$1000 including the consent order.

I would get a written agreement that you are both going to divide the costs equally.

Now all you have to decide on who is going to be the Petitioner!

I don't mind being the baddie in this, just want this chapter to final close, I was waiting on the 5 year seperation rule as I knew he would co-operate, but now things have changed for him too it might be a good time to get it sorted, unfortunately the cost is going to be an issue, but can't hurt to get intouch and wish him well??

Perhaps start any letter by congratulating him on his news, then move onto discussing divorce and the costs "which we could share"????????

I'm sure his new partner will want this anyway?