My MIL is a lovely, kind woman but can be annoying at times - irrational, emotional, intense. My wife obviously loves her mother but does also has this view about her. My MIL lives at the other end of the country so we when we see each other we have to stay at each others houses for at least 4 days at a time. There is usually 1 emotional debate / argument between my wife and MIL every time we meet halfway through a stay. It's always sorted and life moves on.
My wife gave birth to our second child 4 weeks ago and we had my MIL to stay for a few days just 4 days after our child was born. When she could visit became a big issue when our first child was born. My MIL and SIL pressurised my wife into allowing my MIL to come and stay before my wife really wanted her to.
This time it was actually ok (short and sweet - 3 days) but it was still about what my MIL wanted rather than what was best for my wife.
I have shared my frustrations with MIL with my parents and sister (who live in the same town as me) but always made clear not to divulge this to my wife. I admit that I should just keep my mouth shut but obviously couldn't.
My wife recently visited my parents and sister without me where they said some things about my MIL to my wife that upset her. My Dad is a good guy but sometimes doesn't think and just says what's in his head. He frequently annoys my wife with things he says. I understand my Dad has said something about my MIL which annoyed my wife then later my sister asked my wife is it had been a 'nightmare' having her mother to stay! I did not say to my sister that my MIL had been a nightmare! It is not like my sister to say something like this but she did and it upset my wife. I texted my sister to say that it was rude of her to say that. This didn't go down well with my sister and when I told my wife she is now also very upset and said I have just made everything really difficult for her.
In the past when my Dad has said something I've generally let to go but thought it would be a good idea not do that this time. I was obviously wrong and have pi$$ed off both my wife and sister!
Ay advice on what is the best course of action?