My Older brother still lives with my dad at 38 years of age. He has moved out years ago but didn’t cope very well and went back. He’s had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I remember my childhood being quite messed up when he was a teenager as he would do things like get knifes out and threaten to hurt himself. I think there is definitely something else going on. He has tried to take his life before and ended up in a psychiatric unit and my dad got him out of debt to help him. We have never really had any sort of sibling relationship and up until now I haven’t had that much to do with him. He is very anti social and difficult to be around. Very intelligent but extremely patronising and comes off arrogant. No friends. Pretty much lives in his bedroom.
My dad is quite difficult to live with himself but has let my brother live with him for pretty much his whole life hardly paying anything.
My dad is getting elderly and their relationship has become extremely toxic and my dad wants him to move out. My brother is on the council list but not very high priority. He doesn’t tell my dad exactly what money he gets or anything. There have been a lot of arguments and my brother has called the police on my dad for pushing him and threatening him. Which isn’t ok but my dad is I think finally at the end of his tether and just wants to live his last years in his house in peace. He has never had his house to himself. I feel like my brother is taking complete advantage of the fact that my dad won’t kick him out and trying to escalate the situation to make himself look like a victim. Even though my dad has been the one to keep a roof over his head all these years. My brother claims to be trying to move out but I don’t really believe he is because why would he when he has it so easy? And that house is all he’s ever really known. My brother has stopped speaking to my mum a few months ago and has become obsessed with the idea that our parents are narcissists and keeps sending me videos on narcissism and wanting to meet for a coffee to talk about them. When we have never really had that much to do with each other before. I feel like I am being put in the middle and that he is trying to turn me against my parents. And because he has no one else I feel like I’m having to listen as I don’t want to be a shitty person but I also feel like he knows that and is using it against me. I don’t want to sound like a horrible person but I am a single parent and have a full time job. My brother has no idea what the real world is like and I don’t have the time or the energy to emotionally support a fully grown man that I’ve never really had any relationship with. We have all been tiptoeing around him for years as no one wants to tip him over the edge and I’m starting to feel like he has fully taken advantage of that fact by not paying much to my dad or trying to sort his life out.
I know this is long, any advice would be appreciated I really don’t know what to do anymore x