Help!

[Saskia2346]

I have been married for 29 years.

I don't hate my husband, but after 29 years life is very mundane.

On top of that he's not well and I guess I have just become his carer. However he has displayed a lot of controlling behaviour over the years.

Our sex life finished over ten years ago. And we don't sleep in the same bed. He never holds me or kisses me.

Someone has come into my life that gives me everything I need.. I crave being held and being told I am beautiful..and I know this sounds sad.

This person (Jon) wants me to leave him (Simon) ...and he's given me 6 months to throw in the towel..

I actually love Jon..but making such a big leap is very daunting..

However do I just stay in a loveless marriage for the rest of my days.. I am 63.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated...thank you.

Leave, but for you. Not to be with Jon.

Be very aware there are dodgy men out there who get a buzz from making women end their marriages.

It's also common to leave on abuser, for another. Because they give you what you are desperately craving after abuse. In the beginning. Then they turn into exactly the same monster you left.

They lovebomb you. But it's a trap.

Think of it this way, why would a normal, decent human being pursue a woman who is married? Most probable answer- they wouldn't. I would put money on Jon being another predator.

Leave your bad relationship, for you. Tell Jon you need to be single for a while. If he's a decent man he will respect that. Not push you to rush into something.

Revisit things maybe, once you've been single a good while. At least a year. And spent that time learning to be happy in your own company again first. Plus, read up on red flags of abusers. So you can spot them fast in future just incase.

Don't leave one man for another. But definately Leave a bad relationship, for yourself.

Thank you.. you make a lot of sense.... xx

Do what makes you happy! All the best. I know it's scary but you have many, many years yet

It's imperative to be completely honest with your husband about your feelings and the affair you've been having, then consider divorce.

Your unhappiness in the marriage doesn't justify infidelity. Ultimately, leaving should be for your own well-being, not for another man who is only interested in the thrill of the chase. Consider seeking therapy to navigate this difficult situation.

Run the scenario though your head that you leave and jon drops you like a hot stone and you're left with neither man
If the thought of leaving your husband and being single still appeals then leave your marriage as you can't rely on this other man sticking around