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Original poster

Evenings, what do you do?

15 replies

Bumbleby · 09/04/2024 22:16

Just wondering how you spend your evening with your DH/DP?
Very stuck in a rut really, mainly watch TV or read, but if DH is home, he just lies down on sofa and goes go sleep. It would be nice to feel he would feel my company was more enjoyable, but thinking this could be the same for all couples. Am I expecting too much? How can I improve things? Thanks

OP posts:
HopeFloatsAbove · 09/04/2024 22:29

Op I hear you. I am not with a man now but my last relationship, this was all he did. Come home from work and just spread out on the sofa and nod off.

What would YOU like to do?

Original poster
Bumbleby · 09/04/2024 22:41

Thanks for your reply, I am not sure what we could do to make our evenings less boring. I expect many are in the same boat. We could go out and do our own thing, but that is not enjoying each others company. We can't go out together every evening as too expensive.
Just feels so depressing sitting alone with him asleep. Have tried talking to him about it and he tried briefly to stay awake, but did not last long. He says he can't help it as tired, been to GP and blood tests all normal.
Just wanting to find out if that others are having the same experience, if it is normal and if I am being unreasonable to expect more?

OP posts:
givebeesachance · 09/04/2024 22:42

We definitely got into a rut of just watching TV for a while. Could you go for a walk? Play board games?

FunnysInLaJardin · 09/04/2024 22:46

we get home at about 5pm, go for a walk together and talk about the day, make dinner/ lunches etc until about 7.30 then eat dinner and chat a lot!

Once dinner is done by about 8.30, I tidy up and DH sits to watch telly for a bit before bed at 9.30ish.

We have teen DC so we obvs chat to them too/ see what needs doing the next day.

We are never bored!

GoogleWhacking · 09/04/2024 22:47

We often eat together the chat for a bit and watch TV and the kids will go to their rooms and play on their PCs, however, we recently bought Connect 4 and Jenga and have them in the kitchen. It has had this weird effect on the whole family. We have started playing it, and then a kid will come along and watch, and challenge a game, before we know it the whole bloody family are taking it in turns to have a game. Recently came downstairs and caught them playing each other without us instigating it.

Such a small thing, but it has meant we all have a bit of a laugh and a chat.

Tadpole10 · 09/04/2024 22:48

I used to be the one always falling straight to sleep as soon as we sat down after eating evening meal. I would never manage more than 10 mins of a film or episode without passing out asleep, frustrated my DP a lot. Also I would never ever make weeknight social plans or go out on a Friday evening because it was out of the question because I'd be so knackered. It was my job at the time to blame. For other reasons I switched to another sector and job role and realised it was my old job exhausting me too much. (The old job was teaching/school leader, the new career is charity sector).

Could your DP's job be too knackering?

Now I have DC and I'm knackered and so is DH but that's a different thing!

SkiingIsHeaven · 09/04/2024 22:56

We cook together, eat together and then snuggle up on the sofa. We've been together for 32 years.

Sometimes we take the dogs for an extra walk together and sometimes we run upstairs for a quickie.

Quite often it is me who falls asleep on the sofa but he just watches his crappy shows until I wake up.

Original poster
Bumbleby · 09/04/2024 23:02

Thanks for all your replies. A walk now the evenings are lighter may be an option. Board games would be good. Have a jigsaw on the go and left it out, but no one else interested. We both work full time but I don't lie down on sofa, it's quite depressing sitting there hearing the dog snoring and sometimes DH joining in too. I could do my own thing, but sometimes would like to feel we are enjoying each others company!

OP posts:
KentLife01 · 10/04/2024 20:26

My husband is a shift worker so I'm used to having evenings to myself and if he's been up since 4am, used to him falling asleep after dinner. The winter months are worse when it's dark at 4pm and you're limited on what you can do. When my husband is home, we cook and eat together and now the evenings are lighter take the dog for a walk afterwards with a quick stop off in the local pub before heading home. He will fall asleep on the sofa after that but I don't mind as I get to watch what I want on the TV, read a book or have a nice bath before I go to bed. I also don't mind as he's up so early and works very hard so he deserves it. We don't go to the pub every night by the way! We also make sure we go out for dinner once a fortnight or once a month.

Tilly73 · 10/04/2024 20:32

Has he been checked for sleep apnea? My husband was always falling asleep but since he uses his machine he doesn't fall asleep during the day
We usually watch something together and talk

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 10/04/2024 20:42

I was thinking the same the other day, we don't do much in the evenings when we're both off (we're shift workers) apart from dinner, tv then bed. Too much wine was creeping in too. No kids here.

I'm hoping when the weather improves as it's been relentless rain here and lighter nights set in we can get out for more walks or sit out in our local big park. We keep banding about starting Couch to 5k but that hasn't happened yet!

mondaytosunday · 10/04/2024 22:35

DH passed away some time ago now but our routine was (he travelled a lot so if he was in the country): weekdays he didn't get home til 7.30-8pm so kids would be tail end of bath /bed time, so he'd come up to read them a story if he got home in time. While he did that I went down to finish cooking us dinner. We'd have that and chat about the day then yes we would watch a bit of TV. On occasion we'd have someone round for dinner or bridge night. Weekends we'd try and get out and about with the kids but evening was more or less the same. I don't recall him falling asleep on the sofa though, and watching tv was always a source for commentary!

Original poster
Bumbleby · 10/04/2024 22:52

Thanks for letting me know your experiences and ideas, it just feels my DH and I have different expectations about giving each other time in the evenings. It feels he is content to work late or put on his fluffy hoodie and curl up on the sofa falling asleep before 9pm.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumbleby · 10/04/2024 23:07

Thanks for letting me know your experiences and ideas, it just feels my DH and I have different expectations about giving each other time in the evenings. It feels he is content to work late or put on his fluffy hoodie and curl up on the sofa falling asleep

OP posts:
PennyApril54 · 28/09/2024 14:04

We have anti pasti type of dinner over a couple of hours, adding as we go, wine and choose music a song each at a time on Spotify. It works for us.

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