Sad after leaving dv relationship

[Madison44]

So I left 1 week ago and tonight I just feel so sad that I’ll never be with him again. I kno that sounds ridiculous given what I’ve been going through but I keep thinking that someone else is going to get that lovely generous side of him while I struggle to make ends meet and I’ll probably end up alone.
He still has no idea why I’ve left he still thinks I’ve run off with someone.
How can he think his derogatory remarks, threatening behaviour are acceptable ? I feel so alone

I don't have any advice, but I think it's natural to be sad when a relationship ends, no matter what made it end.

If he did not treat you well, then you made the right choice leaving him!

I hope you will feel better soon! I wish you all the best.

Thank you

Of course there's a lovely generous side. How else would he get anyone near him when the other side is horrible abuse.

Yes you lost the lovely bit. You also "lost" the awful abuser that comes with it.

You didn't lose, you won.

It’s totally normal to feel what you’re feeling. I found making a list of the reasons I left helped remind me what a c@nt he was. You will go through many emotions, sadness, anger and the feeling you want him back but it will get easier.

That’s not loosing, that’s called winning the war. Of course you won’t feel happy all the time, every life choice has pros and cons and let’s be honest, feeling lonely is shit, but alas, this is temporary and this too shall pass.

Just because your single now, doesn’t mean you always will be, would have always ended up with a looser if you stayed though. Focus on you and find your happiness without relying on a relationship for it.

This is normal. Your heart and your head are two separate entities and as clichéd as it may sound, your heart just needs to catch up with your head. I felt exactly the same. His behaviour was off the charts unacceptable but seeing him being taken away by police broke my heart. I had to walk away though. For my child's sake first and foremost but also for my own sake and tbh his as well. We were toxic together.

It’s your brain trying to put you back into a known situation that you were used to and learnt to operate within. It wasn’t healthy but it was familiar and it was your normal so of course your brain is going to crave it.

You’ve done the right thing by walking away, you have to be strong and trust your intuition.

Don’t worry or think about him, let him shout and fight with himself but you need to block him and go NC.

Of course the next woman is going to get the best version of him, until the mask slips and he ends up traumatising the next one.

OP you left him because he was unable to treat you nicely, with decent and how you deserve to be treated. What you are experiencing now is grieve because the person he played when you two got together does not exist, ist an act. And I promise you this that whoever he gets with next will get the same vocabulary, the same nice treatment to start with, until it ends. Because men like him cannot keep this mask going, they slip, always.

What you are missing is what you thought he was. The future fakery he must have promised you.

Look up Dr Ramani on YouTube.

Leaving abuse is hard, really tough and you are a week in so give yourself a pat on the shoulder, you have not gone back and its really good.

Also, if he has been in contact with you, telling you all the things he knows you want to hear, believe me its a script, if you go back to him he will revert. They always do.

He doesn't actually believe you've run of with someone btw. It's just a 'prove your innocence' move to control you. They pretend to think you are cheating so that you desperately try to convince them otherwise.

Sociopaths and similar aren't wired like us. We don't understand because we aren't evil. Lions and lambs are different. We don't tell the lamb to work out why. We tell it to run for its fucking life!

Well done getting out. Don't contact him anymore or reply to him. If he continues to harass you, go to the police.